IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Disciplinary action action is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of disciplinary action action should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #action #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of right and wrong action teach them by their parents and teachers at early stages.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with punishment is necessary to teach their
mistakes
Use synonyms
 . There are ways in which we can make them realize of
mistakes
Use synonyms
 which will help them to grow with
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
mindset
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I consider there are other strategies to transmit good values to young people.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
mistakes
Use synonyms
 done by students
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not very big issues they easily understand the importance
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 little help.
For example
Linking Words
, If
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 draws something on
wall
Add an article
the wall
a wall
show examples
 or throws trash on
floor
Add an article
the floor
show examples
 they'll
punished
Change the verb form
be punished
show examples
 to clean those floors or pick up trash and throw
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
dustbin
Add an article
the dustbin
a dustbin
show examples
.
By
Change preposition
Through
show examples
this
Linking Words
student's
Change noun form
students
show examples
 feel responsible and they avoid
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
things
Change preposition
of things
show examples
 and shape their
mindset
Use synonyms
 in
positive
Change the article
a positive
show examples
 way.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if kids
punished
Add a missing verb
are punished
show examples
 for a wrong action there are high
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
 of them becoming introverts and they will get into a strong
mindset
Use synonyms
 of fear which will restrict them from opening up to situations.
For instance
Linking Words
,
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
 well-known schools students are very smart and they don't have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 pressure of losing they
acts
Change the verb form
act
show examples
 smart and easily tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem. Because of punishment
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 silly
Use synonyms
mistakes
Add a comma
,mistakes
show examples
 they trained into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive
mindset
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, students
punished
Add a missing verb
are punished
show examples
 for their
mistakes
Use synonyms
 but
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 minimal limits not
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
badly hurt
Correct your spelling
their
tgeir
Correct your spelling
their
 feelings and
Submitted by urvipatel606 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: