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Band 5

in today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both the parents to work. while some believe that children in these families benefit from the additional income, other believe that they feel lack of support because of their parents' absence. discuss both the views and give your opinion. give reasonable answer and include any example from your own experience.

#world #families #parents #work #believe #children #benefit #income #lack #support #absence
There is no denying that in today's modern society is
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 to have
Correct article usage
an apropriate
show examples
apropriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 income to provide
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
 and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 environment.
Recent
Change preposition
In recent
show examples
 years it has been
debate
Add an article
a debate
show examples
 with some arguing that both
parents
 should contribute to the family's budget,
while
 others argue that a shortage of attention to
children
 can have a detrimental effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fostering. In
this
 essay, I will explore both
sieds
Correct your spelling
sides
 of
pointview
Correct your spelling
point view
 and provide my opinion. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 it is essential to have enough income to provide
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 financial situation and
finest
Correct article usage
the finest
show examples
 nutrition for
children
. As practise shows
children
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 foster in
supportive
Add an article
the supportive
a supportive
show examples
 and wealthy
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 are more likely
succeed
Fix the infinitive
to succeed
show examples
 owing to
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more opportunities to get
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 education and more
quilified
Correct your spelling
qualified
 teachers
Fix the infinitive
to educate
show examples
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 them.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 it is well-established that good education costs a lot of money and to have numerous tutors
parents
 need to have enough money to pay bills for
this
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 there is
downside
Add an article
the downside
a downside
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 engaging both
parents
 in work.
Due to
 having a lot of hours of working adults can't dedicate enough quantity of
time
 to their scions. As
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 it can have
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
 impact on
children
 namely
anxeity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 and stress. Significantly important to spend
time
 with
children
 for their
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 and to avoid their frustration.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
parents
 can spend their
time
 with their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the weekends by attending some events
such
 as football matches or playing with them some board games at home. Spending joint leisure
time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the weekends can be enough to provide
children
good
Change preposition
with good
show examples
 enough attention. In conclusion,
undobtedly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
 incomes play a pivotal role in the shaping of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of
children
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in a
meantime
Add a comma
,meantime
show examples
 it is worth
to remember
Change the verb form
remembering
show examples
 that
parents
 should allocate their
time
 to interact with their scions.
Submitted by dias-orazbaev on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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