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Writing Samples
Band 5

Libraries are irrelevant in the age of the internet and should not be publicly funded.” Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #age #internet
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In today's advanced world, where technology overcome traditional educational places,
libraries
Use synonyms
 should be necessary and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should help to expand them financially. Unfortunately, there are not many places, where
people
Use synonyms
 can experience a calm environment to read
books
Use synonyms
. Despite the access to cutting-edge technologies, I believe that the amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who relish
libraries
Use synonyms
 is not increasing. It is irrefutable, that reading
books
Use synonyms
 develop the human brain and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is necessary for educational purpose.
Everyone
Use synonyms
 can find relevant information on the
internet
Use synonyms
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 not
everyone
Use synonyms
 is fun of laptop/computer screens or using innovative kindle. For me personally, reading
actual
Add an article
an actual
show examples
 paper
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 is a better way of acknowledging any facts.
In addition
Linking Words
, in our current ,world almost every job required looking at the screen which is not healthy for the eyes. Reading
books
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is one way of relaxing our mind and body. The
libraries
Use synonyms
 should be publicly funded, as young
people
Use synonyms
 need to be encouraged to expand their knowledge not only through the
internet
Use synonyms
 but by reading
books
Use synonyms
 as well.
This
Linking Words
 would help adolescents to spend their time differently not only by playing games or being on their phones. The
libraries
Use synonyms
 should be for educational purposes for
everyone
Use synonyms
. The older
people
Use synonyms
 were not growing up around the
internet
Use synonyms
 and it is not debated that they need
libraries
Use synonyms
 as
this
Linking Words
 is what they are used to. The other reason for
libraries
Use synonyms
 is the fact, that
people
Use synonyms
 need a peaceful place to focus. If
this
Linking Words
 spot would not exist the only area, where
people
Use synonyms
 can experience quiet would be a park, which is not ideal ,especially during the winter.
Everyone
Use synonyms
 should have a place, where they can relax and borrow a book they need. It is worth noticing, that not all
books
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 are available on the
internet
Use synonyms
. In summary,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are definitely necessary for our life. It is the only spot where
everyone
Use synonyms
 can spend undisturbed time and where they can find different types of
books
Use synonyms
. What's more reading is healthy and can help our mind and body to lighten.
Submitted by martynaa.j on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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