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Band 5

Libraries are irrelevant in the age of the internet and should not be publicly funded.” Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #age #internet
In today's advanced world, where technology overcome traditional educational places,
libraries
 should be necessary and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should help to expand them financially. Unfortunately, there are not many places, where
people
 can experience a calm environment to read
books
. Despite the access to cutting-edge technologies, I believe that the amount of
people
 who relish
libraries
 is not increasing. It is irrefutable, that reading
books
 develop the human brain and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is necessary for educational purpose.
Everyone
 can find relevant information on the
internet
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 not
everyone
 is fun of laptop/computer screens or using innovative kindle. For me personally, reading
actual
Add an article
an actual
show examples
 paper
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 is a better way of acknowledging any facts.
In addition
, in our current ,world almost every job required looking at the screen which is not healthy for the eyes. Reading
books
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is one way of relaxing our mind and body. The
libraries
 should be publicly funded, as young
people
 need to be encouraged to expand their knowledge not only through the
internet
 but by reading
books
 as well.
This
 would help adolescents to spend their time differently not only by playing games or being on their phones. The
libraries
 should be for educational purposes for
everyone
. The older
people
 were not growing up around the
internet
 and it is not debated that they need
libraries
 as
this
 is what they are used to. The other reason for
libraries
 is the fact, that
people
 need a peaceful place to focus. If
this
 spot would not exist the only area, where
people
 can experience quiet would be a park, which is not ideal ,especially during the winter.
Everyone
 should have a place, where they can relax and borrow a book they need. It is worth noticing, that not all
books
 are available on the
internet
. In summary,
libraries
 are definitely necessary for our life. It is the only spot where
everyone
 can spend undisturbed time and where they can find different types of
books
. What's more reading is healthy and can help our mind and body to lighten.
Submitted by martynaa.j on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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