IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separately. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #men #women
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It is thought that the allocation of men and women to different
classes
Use synonyms
 would be more beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education quality. I mostly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion because of its social and educational drawbacks
on
Change preposition
for
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 university
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, separated
classes
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 may allow some problems
on
Change preposition
for
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students
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in
Change preposition
with
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 their social skills. In separated
classes
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,
students
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 may be more comfortable and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
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 in their speech and attitude.
However
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, in the long term, it would give negative impacts
to
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on
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 their personality. To illustrate that, men may become much ruder and women may become much shier gradually. Both genders may forget how to behave their cross genders in time. They lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 to recover their attitudes and social relationships in
the
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apply
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society. In short, because
of
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apply
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social relationships have a part of
the
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apply
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education in
the
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apply
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universities,
this
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 idea may create negative results.
Secondly
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,
conversely
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 to
this
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 suggestion, these allocated
classes
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 may lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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the
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in the
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 studying quality among
students
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.
This
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 is because
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in mixed
classes
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, both genders share and discuss their ideas
hence
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, their discussions
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 versatile and informative than the separated
classes
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.
For example
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, women’s point of view would be different
than
Change the preposition
from
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 men’s about
the
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apply
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climate change or caring
of
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for
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the
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apply
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orphaned children.
Although
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, it would be not important in the scientific branches, usually different
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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ideas and
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
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 are needed
in
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for
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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 of university studies.
Thus
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, separated
classes
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 erect a barrier to the cross genders’ idea
contribution
Correct word choice
and contribution
show examples
. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
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 suggestion.
Although
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 separated
classes
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 might provide a
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
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 positive impact
in
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on
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 scientific studies, in my opinion,
this
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 idea would show detrimental impacts
in
Change preposition
on
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students
Use synonyms
’ behaviour and education.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • single-gender education
  • coeducational
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • social dynamics
  • learning styles
  • cognitive differences
  • participation rates
  • diverse workplaces
  • educational outcomes
  • psychological implications
  • empirical evidence
  • inclusivity
  • reinforcement of gender roles
  • gender-segregated
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