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Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Agree or disagree ?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Nowadays more and more
people
 are going to
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 restaurants. From the youngest years, children and teenagers visit McDonald’s, KFC and King Burger which is very unhealthy and dangerous for their bodies. To discourage
people
, the government should introduce a
tax
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
 restaurants.
Firstly
, if the government decides to introduce
this
tax
, prices will increase, which will result in
people
 not being able to afford fast
food
.
Consequently
, they might start cooking at home using healthier and more natural products. Not only may it positively influence the family budget, but it might
also
 improve relationships within the family because parents will show their children that cooking and eating at home is both enjoyable and beneficial for their health.
Secondly
, another important advantage is that the money from the
tax
 could be spent on an organisation which aims at helping spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge about healthy living.
This
 organisation may inform how to lead a fit lifestyle, which includes both a nutritious diet and physical exercise.
Moreover
, money from the
tax
 could be spent on arranging events at schools about what risks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
connected with fatty meals and frequently eating fast
food
.
This
 will definitely increase the citizens' awareness of
this
 problem.
On the other hand
, there is one huge disadvantage connected with
this
 idea. Fast
food
 restaurants really give
people
 a place to work and if customers stop going there, the employees could be fired. With
such
 a decision, the government may cause an increase in the rates of unemployment. Taking everything into consideration, I personally agree with the idea of imposing a fast
food
tax
. I think it will make
people
 start thinking about their life and health. Nobody wants to die young because of a disease. They want to travel around the world, start a family and live their dream life.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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