IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that acess to internet is necessary to live a full life ? do you agree or disagree?

#people #acess #internet #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 has been a cornerstone in our daily
life
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 decade. For a
pelthora
Correct your spelling
plethora
 of
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 got attached to what the
internet
Use synonyms
 has to offer in an
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
 manner to the point that they
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on it for
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the era of artificial intelligence and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 ,and it is a crucial part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, we should limit the use to the benefits that we can take from it. In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 my point of view will be
further
Linking Words
 explained.
Firstly
Linking Words
, access to
Add an article
the network
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 has helped embrace connections and communications, before it was hard to get in touch with family members who were living abroad and
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 with
people
Use synonyms
 from different places globally to make friendships, and the
internet
Use synonyms
 solved the issue for
people
Use synonyms
 who suffered from the lack of connection,
for instance
Linking Words
, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to connect with their family, friends and educators online all the time which gives them a sense of support and community , so what could be said that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is a connectivity tool that could not be replaced.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
's two major components; education and work,
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on the existence of the
internet
Use synonyms
; companies are switching to remote work when
people
Use synonyms
 get to work from home online and school has created platforms to supply students with the needed material online rather than on campus and giving them lectures online too,
for example
Linking Words
, in the pandemic, in 2020, the vast majority of universities gave
lectues
Correct your spelling
lectures
 via zoom to their learners which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 and still
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 of a superior benefit to students with health conditions or even regular students who prefer the online mood of studying,
therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are gaining their income using the
internet
Use synonyms
 ,and others, their education in critical times.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has significant benefits that could not be denied despite its negative impact,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
life
Use synonyms
's major things; connecting, communicating, working and learning, and I agree that it is an important aspect of living in the current era
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it impacts
life
Use synonyms
's trends on daily basis.
Submitted by youstinasamuel304 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: