Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #child #instrument

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

a musical

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

inexorably in recent years, there is an opinion that the teaching of playing

musical

Add an article

a musical

show examples

instrument

Fix the agreement mistake

instruments

show examples

should be given to all

children

Although

it can bring a number of benefits to young people, I disagree with

this

view because I think

it’s

unnecessary in many situations. On the one hand, it is beneficial

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

to play an

instrument

. It can inspire young people with a sense of accomplishment and foster their self-esteem. As a child learns to play an

instrument

and become more proficient, they may experience a sense of achievement and boast about their progress.

In addition

children

also

enhance their concentration and discipline

along with

the ability to play an

instrument

For example

, when

children

stand in front of their friends or

crowd

Correct article usage

a crowd

show examples

, if they can read the

interpret

Wrong verb form

interpreted

show examples

sheet music or play an

instrument

, it makes them feel more confident and

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to express their skills.

On the other hand

, I believe

it’s

totally unnecessary.

Firstly

, I would contend that young people embark on learning to play an

instrument

. the enormous cost incurred to cover musical instruments and lessons will put a strain on

parent’s

Fix the agreement mistake

parents’

show examples

coffers leading to

financial

Correct article usage

a financial

show examples

burden

Fix the agreement mistake

burdens

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and

Correct word choice

that

show examples

not every family can afford.

Secondly

, not every child has an interest in or aptitude for music, simultaneously

it’s

important to respect and encourage their individual interests. Every one of

children

has different talents and skills,

therefore

parents should not impose their minds and desires

Change preposition

show examples

those

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

’.

As a result

, caregivers need to support their

children

Change preposition

in practicing

show examples

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

and learning in the fields that they love to reach their full potential In conclusion, playing a musical

instrument

can support the mental and emotional development of a child.

However

, I think

it’s

unnecessary because a large amount of money

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to afford

and

Correct pronoun usage

it and

show examples

unfits

Wrong verb form

unfit

show examples

for all

children

Submitted by Bravid Nguyen on Tue Mar 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Finding it hard to remember important fact and figures? Improve your memory in 10 weeks with our Memory Course. Places are limited and the course is available for only a short time.