IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
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This
Linking Words
 pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the medium household spending
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
 category in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the acceptable spending
household
Change preposition
in household
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 was compared with housing, transport,
food
Use synonyms
 health care and other goods and services and
food
Use synonyms
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
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 scored than other expenditures. But the percentage of health care
significantly
Add a missing verb
is significantly
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 lower than others in
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 countries too. The percentages are measured in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
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 chart. The rate of house spending demonstrated the highest in Malaysia. The rate of spending
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
on food
show examples
 in Malaysia was half of the figure for Japan. The rate
household
Change preposition
of household
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 spending
other
Change preposition
on other
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 goods and services and
food
Use synonyms
 insensible pointed in two nations

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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