The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
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This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates

The plural verb illustrate does not appear to agree with the singular subject This pie chart. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the medium household spending
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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major
Add an article
the major

The noun phrase major category seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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category in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the acceptable spending
household
Change preposition
in household

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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was compared with housing, transport,
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

health care and other goods and services and
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

higher
Add a missing verb
was higher

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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scored than other expenditures. But the percentage of health care
significantly
Add a missing verb
is significantly

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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lower than others in
two
Correct article usage
the two

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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countries too. The percentages are measured in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie

The noun phrase pie chart seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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chart. The rate of house spending demonstrated the highest in Malaysia. The rate of spending
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
on food

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in Malaysia was half of the figure for Japan. The rate
household
Change preposition
of household

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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spending
other
Change preposition
on other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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goods and services and
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

insensible pointed in two nations
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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