IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year
This
 pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the medium household spending
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
 category in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the acceptable spending
household
Change preposition
in household
show examples
 was compared with housing, transport,
food
 health care and other goods and services and
food
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
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 scored than other expenditures. But the percentage of health care
significantly
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is significantly
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 lower than others in
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 countries too. The percentages are measured in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
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 chart. The rate of house spending demonstrated the highest in Malaysia. The rate of spending
food
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on food
show examples
 in Malaysia was half of the figure for Japan. The rate
household
Change preposition
of household
show examples
 spending
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
 goods and services and
food
 insensible pointed in two nations
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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