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Band 4.5

To many people do not know their neighbours. What is this? What can be done about it?

#people #neighbours
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, fewer and fewer
people
 keep in touch with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. Especially the youngsters, some of them do not even know
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
people
 who live near
teir
Correct your spelling
their
 house look like or have any
oinformation
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information
of
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about
show examples
 them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
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the issue and give solutions. The biggest reason for
this
 problem is
people
these day
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this day
these days
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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less care about other
people
 around them.
Furthermore
, due
the
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to the
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 development of technology, social media platform has nearly become an official tool for humans to communicate take a look back
in
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at
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 the 20th century, when devices namely computers,
phone
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the phone
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 and television
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
been invented, both children and adults in that period entertained and connected their relationships by going out and spoke to others. Unlike
the
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apply
show examples
senior
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seniors
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, today
people
 can have fun and contact
to
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apply
show examples
online
friendsall
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friends all
 the time and
thery
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they
 do not need to hang out with anyone. They follow the unstable value of
socisl
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social
 media,
want
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and want
show examples
 to gain unrealistic followers and friends. Somehow, they forgot that
real life
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real-life
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 connections are important
especially
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,especially
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 in emergency situations.
To solve
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Solve
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this
 issue is not so complicated
,
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apply
show examples
 but will need a lot of
supportive
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support
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 from the government and citizens. More
festival
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festivals
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 and social events should be organized,
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encouraging
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people
going
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to go
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 outside and participate with others. Another solution if the government
unwillin
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unwilling
 to hold those events, family
shouls
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should
 have some small
paries
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parties
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 or meals on special
occations
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occasions
 and invite
ther
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their
the
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
,to come, so that the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 could become
knitly
Correct your spelling
knightly
. And maybe after that time, they might find some new friends that share some interests with them. In conclusion, the way
people
 live today
lead
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leads
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 to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of realistic relationships
including
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with
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 their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. To solve
this
 solution,
people
 and government should be proactive in
connect
Change the verb form
connecting
show examples
people
 by making activities, if not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done,
people
 will no longer be part of society.
Submitted by pierre-vandenberg on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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