Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently, the issue
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
been brought
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
into focus is
food
and drink which
is contain
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
numerous sugar or preservative substance
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
a large number of disadvantages for our
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
. Some
people
believe that fast
food
is a significant feature of modern life. In my opinion, shops should not be permitted to sell
food
that harmful to
people
’s
health
. In
this
essay, I will outline the specific drawback of harmful
food
. One thing
that is
of great
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
is that unhealthy
food
and drink must not be empowered to sell anymore. There are many reasons for the bad effect of sophisticated ready-prepared microwavable meals
due to
the substances harmful to
health
. For one thing,
people
want to keep
food
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
last
a long time, so nowadays manufacturers often add chemicals to keep them
last
longer. For another, if you use these products for a long time, you will easily encounter
health
diseases
such
as digestive problems, heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
, or even cancer. It may give rise to a number
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the growth of obesity and diabetes. The most familiar example of
this
is that in Viet Nam, young
people
have to study and work in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overdone way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that the
last
option they have is eating fast
food
, which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
amount of fat and it can lead to obesity these days.
On the other hand
, the entitled to sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience products will be very difficult to achieve
due to
the great demand from customers. It seems quite clear that
people
should gradually give up the habit of eating fast
food
and convenience
food
.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
also
well-known that eating unhealthy
food
will reduce our quality of life. Government is
also
responsible for not to permitted to sell all the
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
of utility convenience
food
. The immediate result it produces is government should warn the
people
about the disadvantages that it will cause to their
health
. A better example of
this
can be best
provide
Change the form of the verb
provided
show examples
by in
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
government was organized many campaign
talk
Fix the infinitive
to talk
show examples
about the numerous drawback of
food
which is bad for
people’
Correct your spelling
people’s
show examples
health
and
also
raise
Change the verb form
raises
show examples
awareness of
people
. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
no difference that governments and citizens should join a hand to abandon practices
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
the
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
product in order to be as fit as a fiddle and stay in shape. In summary, it is important that shops must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stop providing meals and drinks that impact
people
's
health
in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
awful way, and in order to improve your own
health
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: