Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Thesedays
, many consumers have extremely been fond of food and beverage which contain high levels of Correct your spelling
These days
sugar
,
and Remove the comma
apply
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers
also
have produced a variety sugary
Change preposition
of sugary
products
to meet their customers' demands. Although
some people
think that increasing the price of sugary grocery
allows Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
people
to intake less sugar
, I am of an opinion that this
strategy cannot solve the problem essentially.
On the one hand, some people
believe that it is better to take other soultions
Correct your spelling
solutions
in
account for noteworthy reasons. The most Change preposition
into
remakable
reason in Correct your spelling
remarkable
this
regard is that expensive sugary food and drink products
are less likely to be effective to reduce health problems which are attributed to products
containing a large amount of sugar
. It means that people
should make an effort to develop more helpful and useful strategies. For example
, it is more important that
average Correct your spelling
than
people
realize that sugary products
have a detrimental effects
on their health, which means that the government and relevant authorities should implement Correct the article-noun agreement
a detrimental effect
detrimental effects
outstanding
Add an article
an outstanding
the outstanding
campaign
and create public service Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
advertisement
to persuade the public to stop drinking and eating harmful Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
products
.
On the other hand
, other people
disagree with the above statement for many reasons. The most important one is that in the
Correct article usage
a
capitalism
society, raising the cost of sugary food and drinks is the simplest solution. To be specific, the majority of ordinary Replace the word
capitalist
people
usually pay attention to making a living, and they have to be good with money. To use an
common example of Change the article
a
this
, they try to reduce cost
of living and save Add an article
the cost
much
money in the bank. These Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
are highly likely to avoid expensive manufactures
regardless of their health. Correct your spelling
manufacturers
Consequently
, controlling and regulating the expense of the products
are quite easy and efficient ways to consume less sugar
.
In conclusion, when all relevant reasons and specific examples are considered and evaluated, I totally agree that there will be certainly more beneficial and meaningful soultions
to prevent many Correct your spelling
solutions
people
consuming
high levels of Change preposition
from consuming
sugar
.Submitted by doseun on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite