IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion ielts essay

#people #punishment #crimes #ielts
The capital
Correct article usage
Capital
show examples
punishment
 had been for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long time the most popular way of
punishment
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most part of the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before it was abolished in the past century. Nowadays it has a bad reputation among democratic countries and is considered a brutal way of
punishment
 and is
percepted
Correct your spelling
perceived
 as a threat of
totalitarism
Correct your spelling
totalitarianism
totalitarian
.
However
, a lot of
people
 in the present are for
this
 method. Taking the part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most countries and of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human rights,
this
 way of
punishment
 must be interdicted because it is, in the first place, illegal.
In addition
, is a radical method of extermination of
people
 who broke the law, that
doesm't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 have any chance to be corrected in the future and, in consequence, an unfairly
condamned
Correct your spelling
condemned
 person might be killed. Taking
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 consideration that today existest a huge variety of forms of
punishment
, like fees or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life detention,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
such
 a grave breach of human rights has to be forbidden.
On the other hand
, taking
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account all the criminals that
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 a number of
murderes
Correct your spelling
murderers
murders
 or sexual
agressions
Correct your spelling
aggressions
aggression
 one by one and the detention couldn't
avoit
Correct your spelling
avoid
 it, these sort of criminals has to be free of rights and killed. Society has to understand that it is not just a
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
mentally
 ill person that
unconciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
 murdered a certain number of
people
 in the past, but it is a perilous
meber
Correct your spelling
member
 of society
that is
 capable to repeat its crime over again. In my personal opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capital
punishment
 has to remain
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 service as the
last
 choice in case of extremely grave
murderes
Correct your spelling
murderers
murderer
 or
viols
Correct your spelling
vols
.
Also
, it has to be strictly
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 by
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
international organizations
such
 as
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
 or the
Soupreme
Correct your spelling
Supreme
 Court of Justice at Haga, but not used like in Belarus or Russia for political
oponents
Correct your spelling
opponents
. These being said, these two
oppinions
Correct your spelling
opinions
 have their strong points, as the
punishent
Correct your spelling
punishment
bu
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 death has its risks and a history of terror
behind
Correct pronoun usage
itbehind
show examples
, but it
also
 may be a secure solution to eliminate some
people
 who represent a real danger
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the community's wellbeing.
Submitted by verdesecaterina2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: