IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many companies sponsor sports by advertising themselves. Some believe that this is very good for world sport, others believe that there are also disadvantages. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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It is
undenieably
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undeniably
undeniable
 that big
sports
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 events around the globe have been sponsored by a variety of goods and services.
Although
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 some
people
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 regard
that
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apply
show examples
this
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 situation
is
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as
show examples
 beneficial to
such
Linking Words
sports
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 activities,
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while
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apply
show examples
others propound that
such
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 actions may lead to adverse effects
to
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on
show examples
people
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.
While
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, I believe that when it comes to advertising
a
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apply
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particular stuff as a part of
sponsership
Correct your spelling
sponsorship
 by private companies,
such
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ads
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 should be presented in a creative and educational way. On the one hand, advertisements depicted in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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major
sports
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 games
is
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are
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 effectively capable of reaching
million
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millions
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 of audiences around the globe because these days
sports
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 fans have followed their
favorite
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favourite
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 teams on modern media. In
this
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 way, the more they promote their adverts or products on TV, the more they will be
achieveable
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achievable
 to encourage
sports
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 lovers to make a purchase of their products or services. In exchange, organizers or
sportplayers
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sport players
 have greatly benefited from a myriad of
sponserships
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sponsorships
sponsorship
, and they can
also
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 develop
their
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the
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 facilities used in the stadium.
On the other hand
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, there are some detrimental factors
originated
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originating
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 from the trend,
such
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 as explicit
ads
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 content and inappropriate products,
may
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which may
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 contribute to concerns among
people
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, especially children. To put it simply, adverts about sex is sometimes extremely explicit to most audiences around the globe, and alcohol or soft drinks often appear on the mass media as well because a popular sport game can help
improving
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improve
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 product sales in the long run.
For example
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, Thai
sports
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 fans who stay up late for a football match are bombarded by whisky or beer
ads
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 as they are considered
as
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apply
show examples
a major target for those companies. In conclusion, even though
sponsering
Correct your spelling
sponsoring
sports
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 events
has
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have
show examples
benefit
Change the verb form
benefited
show examples
 many
people
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, those
ads
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 should be made creatively and useful to all kinds of audiences at the same time.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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