IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many believe that living in a city offers greate benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #greate #life #countryside
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Life
Use synonyms
 in a
city
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 is considered to be more beneficial than
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. In my opinion, I disagree that urban
life
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 has more advantages than rural
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 think that in a
city
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 there are a lot of opportunities to study and build a successful career. In big
Use synonyms
cities
Add a comma
,cities
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 there are more schools, colleges and universities so
people
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 have more options when deciding which educational institution they should choose.
In addition
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 have wide ADD AN ARTICLE a wide The noun phrase wide variety seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article. show examples variety of jobs available. It allows
people
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 to apply for a more convenient job with a high salary.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, many
people
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 move from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 to
cities
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 in order to find
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 interesting and high-payment
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 just because of the lack of the latter in the
countryside
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
cities
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 provide more options
of
Change preposition
for
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 learning new things and expanding knowledge. In
Use synonyms
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
people
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 can attend exhibitions, museums, theatres, lectures and other different places where they may expand their knowledge about the world.
Thus
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 in a
city
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 has its own advantages for professional and personal growth. As for living in a rural area, there are much more benefits for mental and physical
health
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.
While
Linking Words
 in a
city
Use synonyms
people
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 tend to maintain a sedentary lifestyle, spending their days in offices in front of computers, in the
countryside
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people
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 have a chance to be with nature doing some physical activities, like working on a farm or doing gardening.
For example
Linking Words
, where I live, older
people
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 prefer spending summer and autumn in their cottages doing some gardening in order to stay healthy and be active.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, being at one with nature in the
countryside
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 may be beneficial for mental
health
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. As researchers say, being in nature has some positive effects, which include relaxation, stress level reduction, and psychological recovery.
Thus
Linking Words
, a rural lifestyle allows
people
Use synonyms
 to improve their
health
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 in general. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 living in a
city
Use synonyms
 is thought to have more advantages,
life
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 has its own benefits too. In my view, rural
life
Use synonyms
 is more advantageous, especially, in terms of its positive effects on mental and physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by a_s_bykov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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