Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Every day we
heard
Wrong verb form
hear
show examples
the word “
money
”, and we always think
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
because dollars, euros and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
types of bills are the main fuel of the world. The way we think
money
is individual, indeed some
people
prefer to earn less
money
but to have a
job
that they like, and others strongly disagree with
this
view because believe that a well-paid
job
can guarantee you a better
life
. In
this
essay, I will discuss these two main points of view and I will argue why I am more in the second point. It is certainly a crucial thing to find a
job
that we really like, and for some
people
,
this
is more important than the salary earned. It is understandable that a full-time
job
in a business company is really exhausting: the turns, the timetable, all the colleagues that you have to stay together for 8 hours a day…is not easy. Very often a large number of
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
of these companies have to stay home for a quite long period because of the stress correlated to their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Some years ago my dad had to stay home from work for about one month, he works in the military field and unfortunately, he had to face burnout after a 6 months mission.
On the other hand
, how can we disagree with the
people
who prefer to have more
money
at the end
of the month
instead
of having a
poorest
Correct word choice
poorer
show examples
life
? When you
collected
Wrong verb form
collect
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money
and you know that you can afford all the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that you like to do, your
life
drastically changes because your mind contains surely fewer negative beliefs and you are physically more relaxed. I’m the kind of person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
strongly
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
with
this
lifestyle, one of the purposes of
this
IELTS exam is to apply to
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
foreign university so I would have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to a wider number of
job
opportunities to reach a well-paid
job
as well as
my brother did in 2015. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
I don’t know how will be my future, but I’m sure that I don’t want to worry about
money
.
To conclude
, the
money
theme is on fire
as well as
the
job
careers to do in future. For some
people
, priority is represented by
money
and for others by enjoyable work. I argued these main views and gave my personal opinion, that follows the way of a better
life
.
Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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