Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Every day we
heard
the word “Wrong verb form
hear
money
”, and we always think to
Change preposition
of
this
because dollars, euros and others
types of bills are the main fuel of the world. The way we think Correct quantifier usage
other
money
is individual, indeed some people
prefer to earn less money
but to have a job
that they like, and others strongly disagree with this
view because believe that a well-paid job
can guarantee you a better life
. In this
essay, I will discuss these two main points of view and I will argue why I am more in the second point.
It is certainly a crucial thing to find a job
that we really like, and for some people
, this
is more important than the salary earned. It is understandable that a full-time job
in a business company is really exhausting: the turns, the timetable, all the colleagues that you have to stay together for 8 hours a day…is not easy. Very often a large number of employers
of these companies have to stay home for a quite long period because of the stress correlated to their Correct your spelling
employees
job
. Some years ago my dad had to stay home from work for about one month, he works in the military field and unfortunately, he had to face burnout after a 6 months mission.
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
On the other hand
, how can we disagree with the people
who prefer to have more money
at the end
of the month instead
of having a poorest
Correct word choice
poorer
life
? When you collected
Wrong verb form
collect
money
and you know that you can afford all the thing
that you like to do, your Fix the agreement mistake
things
life
drastically changes because your mind contains surely fewer negative beliefs and you are physically more relaxed. I’m the kind of person that
strongly Correct pronoun usage
who
agree
with Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
this
lifestyle, one of the purposes of this
IELTS exam is to apply to one
foreign university so I would have Correct determiner usage
a
the
access to a wider number of Correct article usage
apply
job
opportunities to reach a well-paid job
as well as
my brother did in 2015. Of course
I don’t know how will be my future, but I’m sure that I don’t want to worry about Add a comma
course,
money
.
To conclude
, the money
theme is on fire as well as
the job
careers to do in future. For some people
, priority is represented by money
and for others by enjoyable work. I argued these main views and gave my personal opinion, that follows the way of a better life
.Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Focus on addressing the specific points of the given task prompt and provide clear, comprehensive ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.