A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#person’s #health #responsibility #government’s

Regarding the perspectives suggest that it is the obligation of individuals to take care of their

health

instead

of the government. I strongly disagree with

such

opinions since governments have more power and resources to enhance the quality of

health

in public with different methods, including cultivating the younger generation with a healthy life-stylet and advancing medical systems. First of all, it is essential for young individuals to be aware of the importance to have an active life to reduce the diseases caused by lack of exercise.

Moreover

, schools that provide meals are able to assist their students to form healthy eating habits. With the help of

authoritiests

Correct your spelling

authorities

, youth could gain the essential knowledge to maintain a quality life in the future.

For example

, in the UK, the government start to encourage educational institutions to introduce correlative courses to foster students being aware of the nutrition contained in various foods,

along with

it, knowing how to make smart choices regarding the food they intake.

Secondly

, it is hard for private

pharmany

Correct your spelling

pharmacy

companie

Correct your spelling

companies

to find solutions to cure rare diseases, which barely

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

commercial benefit, only government are able to invest a tidy sum to make progress in

such

areas.

Furthermore

, it is crucial for

govenments

Correct your spelling

governments

to come out with policies to ensure the right for everyone to receive

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical care. In Taiwan, the national

health

insurance policy

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

everyonw

Correct your spelling

everyone

to enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical resources, including those who struggling

Change preposition

with

show examples

financial difficulties.

To conclude

, despite

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

fact that people should take care of

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

for having a

healthly

Correct your spelling

healthy

life, the involvement of governments is essential since they have sufficient sources and influence, be it improving the acquisition of

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

knowledge in schools,

and

Correct word choice

show examples

advancing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical systems.

Therefore

, in my perspective,

governmnet

Correct your spelling

government

governments

have the

responsible

Replace the word

responsibility

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

people's

health

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Thu Mar 09 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal accountability
health outcomes
public health campaigns
regulations
healthcare services
environmental quality
socio-economic factors
governmental intervention
healthy living
informed health decisions

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A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think about the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicles driver take a test every year.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages.