IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The schematic drawing represents the flow of how
rainwater
Use synonyms
 is being saved, drained, and handled to make it drinkable in one city in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the processing of drinking
water
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rain is
considerably
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 a long process. It basically has three stages.
First,
Linking Words
is draining,
then
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 storage, and
lastly
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
. The process commences from draining. The
rainwater
Use synonyms
 has to be drained by passing through a
water
Use synonyms
 filter.
Then
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 goes all the way down to a huge
water
Use synonyms
 storage. After some time, the
rainwater
Use synonyms
 will be transferred to another
water
Use synonyms
 tank for
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
. In the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
 phase, the
rainwater
Use synonyms
 is treated with a mixture of chemicals. It is where the
rainwater
Use synonyms
 undergoes some manipulation and maybe some sanitation.
Then
Linking Words
, there is one pipe connecting
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
 tank going upwards to the houses. In the
last
Linking Words
 stage, the
water
Use synonyms
 is
finally
Linking Words
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed by the people in an Australian town.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rainwater, water, treatment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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