IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections #summaries #features #comparisons
When linear graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
usage
 of different kind of energy sources in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1980 to 2030.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
 ,all most all the
power
 sources will have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 2030 except
hydropower
usage
 of Petroleum fuel will be the stayed as the highest consuming energy method from the beginning to the end of
predicted
Add an article
the predicted
show examples
 period and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 one will be
hydropower
. Consumption of petroleum and oil was 35
quadrillion
units
 in 1980 and will have an
upword
Correct your spelling
upward
 trend until the end of the predicted time (more than 45
quadrillion
units
) Coal
also
 will have been
showed
Change the verb form
showing
shown
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 more or less similar increment with several fluctuations
while
 natural gas was slightly climbed by five
quadrillion
units
 between 1980 to 2015 and will have a plateau until 2030.
Furthermore
,
usage
 of all three
power
 sources named
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
nuclear, solar or wind
power
 and
hydropower
 were kept under 5
quadrillion
units
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each and will have been
remain
Change the verb form
remaining
remained
show examples
 under 10 quarterly
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
units
 up to 2030. Both nuclear ,solar and wind
power
 will have been
showed
Change the verb form
showing
shown
show examples
 a marginal rise
while
usage
 of
hydropower
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
Submitted by madhuherath.manny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words usage, power, hydropower, quadrillion, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: