IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their study and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#internet #access #people #workers #study #work #goals
It is true that the
internet
 plays an important role in human development, which helps teenagers and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. I completely agree with
this
 point of view First of all, there are a lot of benefits
effects
Correct word choice
and effects
show examples
 that the
internet
 brings to society nowadays. The first is that the
internet
 helps
people
 find information, works in the most convenient way providing
people
 with many interesting things.
Internet
 access to many devices creates many products, good products help increase the economy
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the company.
For example
, many companies use robots to make products, which are reliable and work perfectly,
while
 television,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
show examples
... help
people
 access faster
On the other hand
, using too much the
internet
 will cause many drawbacks. It makes
people
 lazy to depend on the
internet
 too much.
For example
, in Vietnam luds prefer playing video games rather than doing outside sports or doing household chores, so they can lead to obesity. Children focus too much on using the
internet
 making the gap narrower and narrower, productively only on it ,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not want to talk to anyone. That will break family happiness and be difficult to restore In conclusion, the
internet
 has made it easier for the young and labour education and work professionally feat by providing materials for students and good working conditions
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: