IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their study and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#internet #access #people #workers #study #work #goals
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It is true that the
internet
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in human development, which helps teenagers and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view First of all, there are a lot of benefits
effects
Correct word choice
and effects
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 that the
internet
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 brings to society nowadays. The first is that the
internet
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 helps
people
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 find information, works in the most convenient way providing
people
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 with many interesting things.
Internet
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 access to many devices creates many products, good products help increase the economy
with
Change preposition
of
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 the company.
For example
Linking Words
, many companies use robots to make products, which are reliable and work perfectly,
while
Linking Words
 television,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
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... help
people
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 access faster
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using too much the
internet
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 will cause many drawbacks. It makes
people
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 lazy to depend on the
internet
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 too much.
For example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam luds prefer playing video games rather than doing outside sports or doing household chores, so they can lead to obesity. Children focus too much on using the
internet
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 making the gap narrower and narrower, productively only on it ,
do
Correct word choice
and do
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 not want to talk to anyone. That will break family happiness and be difficult to restore In conclusion, the
internet
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 has made it easier for the young and labour education and work professionally feat by providing materials for students and good working conditions
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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