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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #education #individual’s #responsibility
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numbers of
people
 have
this
 opinion that it is better that the government pay all part of the cost of treatment system and education,
in contrast
 of that some
people
 have a negative attitude towards to
this
 idea and say, it is suitable that
people
 to self-responsibility. in
this
 essay I want to discuss both sides of these aspects. on the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that the administration must support all sides of education and the health system. from
this
 point of view they believe if the administration covers all parts of these subjects, most citizens are able to find it easy to consumption equipment of hospitals or schools.
moreover
for example
, If a person gets a bad disease and needs to be hospitalized in long run
hence
,
that is
 a hate situation for them if they want to pay all costs there.
additionally
, from an educational perspective, the quality of schools increases significantly when the governments support that. because they have a huge source of finance.
therefore
, there are highly beneficial to
this
 method.
on the other hand
, many commentators argue that there are some advantages when
people
 pay
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
 their finance them. they insist that if the part of the tax given by the administration is returned to
people
 they are able to use
this
 part of the cost for themselves. as result, they afford to use high-quality of these types of services.
however
, I don't find
this
 argument valid because there are a lot of
people
 unwilling to
this
 module as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they cannot afford it when they must pay huge money for treatment or learning. in conclusion,
although
 there are some merits to self-responsibility, the drawbacks of that are far more.
consequently
, I strongly agree with the first opinion that its positive aspects are noticeable.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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