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Band 3.5

Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #spread #companies #globalization #outcomes
The phenomenon of some
people
 claiming
orgiantion
Correct your spelling
origination
ordination
 development
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 everyone has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as
people
's views on
this
 issue on
question
Add an article
the question
a question
show examples
 may be, I totally agree that globalization would
benefical
Correct your spelling
benefit
beneficial
 all humans on the earth. Of all the reasons why
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the whole world can
benefical
Correct your spelling
benefit
 all
people
, probably the most significant one is that more job opportunities will be created in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weak counties.
For example
,
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 business range means higher demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 in order to manage the extended business. Hiring local
people
 is a common
ways
Change the noun form
way
show examples
 to solve the lacking of labour.
Therefore
, the profit of weak nations will be increased in turn
push
Wrong verb form
pushing
show examples
 their
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
 development growth. Another reason
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 not be overlooked is that
government
 can tax more from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
companies
for
Correct quantifier usage
more for
show examples
 the improvement of greater quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 of
citizens
Change preposition
for citizens
show examples
.
Companies
 tax is one of the main income of
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
government
. The
companies
Change noun form
company's
show examples
 income source expand to
international
Change the word
internationally
show examples
represented
Wrong verb form
representing
show examples
 massive profit.
Hence
, the
government
 can require higher tax
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 for those
globalizational
Correct your spelling
globalization
orgiantion
Correct your spelling
origination
. In
this
 way, the
congressmans
Correct your spelling
congressmen
show examples
 can establish more aid facilities for the local
people
. Under
this
 line of thinking, it seems to me that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
companies
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
grow internationally can create more
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor counties and increase financial
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for the
government
. So, I completely agree that all domestic organization should set their target of expansion plans to other countries.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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