IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #spread #companies #globalization #outcomes
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The phenomenon of some
people
Use synonyms
 claiming
orgiantion
Correct your spelling
origination
ordination
 development
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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to
Change preposition
on
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 everyone has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as
people
Use synonyms
's views on
this
Linking Words
 issue on
question
Add an article
the question
a question
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 may be, I totally agree that globalization would
benefical
Correct your spelling
benefit
beneficial
 all humans on the earth. Of all the reasons why
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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through
Change preposition
throughout
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 the whole world can
benefical
Correct your spelling
benefit
 all
people
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, probably the most significant one is that more job opportunities will be created in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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weak counties.
For example
Linking Words
,
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
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 business range means higher demand
of
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for
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 human
resource
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resources
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 in order to manage the extended business. Hiring local
people
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 is a common
ways
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way
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 to solve the lacking of labour.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the profit of weak nations will be increased in turn
push
Wrong verb form
pushing
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 their
countries
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country's
countries'
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 development growth. Another reason
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 not be overlooked is that
government
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 can tax more from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local
companies
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for
Correct quantifier usage
more for
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 the improvement of greater quality
life
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of life
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 of
citizens
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for citizens
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.
Companies
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 tax is one of the main income of
the
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for the
show examples
government
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. The
Use synonyms
companies
Change noun form
company's
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 income source expand to
international
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internationally
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represented
Wrong verb form
representing
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 massive profit.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
government
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 can require higher tax
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 for those
globalizational
Correct your spelling
globalization
orgiantion
Correct your spelling
origination
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the
congressmans
Correct your spelling
congressmen
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 can establish more aid facilities for the local
people
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. Under
this
Linking Words
 line of thinking, it seems to me that
make
Wrong verb form
making
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companies
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
grow internationally can create more
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor counties and increase financial
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for the
government
Use synonyms
. So, I completely agree that all domestic organization should set their target of expansion plans to other countries.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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