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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting cinemas in a European country on different days of the week during 2003, 2005 and 2007. The graph clearly shows that
Saturday
Use synonyms
 was the most preferred day to visit theatres during all three years. In 2003, only 10% of
people
Use synonyms
 visited on Monday, making it the least preferred day of the week. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 showed a gradual increase during the weekdays with some fluctuations in between.
Saturday
Use synonyms
 hit the highest point with a
percentage
Use synonyms
 up to 40%, but still lower than in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2005 and 2007. Friday and Sunday remained constant
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 exactly 30%. In 2005, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday showed an equal
percentage
Use synonyms
 of visitors which was around 14%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Tuesday experienced an upward trend with approximately 17%. Friday and Sunday showed a sharp increase in visitors, with 30% and around 33% respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
Saturday
Use synonyms
 was reported to have
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum
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 number of
people
Use synonyms
 in all three years, which is 45%. In 2007, The weekdays had some fluctuations, but Wednesday had the least
percentage
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 8, in all three years. Friday and Sunday showed a similar trend to 2005.
However
Linking Words
,
Saturday
Use synonyms
 was again the most preferred day with about 43% of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the cinemas.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, saturday with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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