IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#music #language #mankind
It is true that
music
 has been recognised
an
Change preposition
as an
show examples
 international
language
 for a long time, especially in every
centuries
Change to a singular noun
century
show examples
. In my opinion, I agree with the argument that
music
 certainly has played a significant role, particularly in the aspect of
language
, around the world. On the one hand, some people think that
music
 is just a kind of art or creativity of musicians, and it could not be
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 universal
language
. The function of
music
 usually
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 to relax and enjoy
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
Individuals'
Change noun form
Individuals
show examples
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time.
However
, people are not able to know every
song
 in many languages.
Thus
, they just listen to
music
 to enjoy
instead
 they are aware of the meaning of the
song
 actually.
On the other hand
, I support that
music
also
 could use to be an international
language
 in human life. Composers or
Singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
 usually express their thoughts to convey
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 public by creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
songs.
In other words
, the tone of different songs
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
 a variety of elements
such
 as emotions, feeling, and meaning.
For example
, a lot of styles of
song
Add an article
a song
the song
show examples
such
 as Hip-Hop, R&B, love
song
, and Juzz, are played in many situations. Hip-Hop and R&B often use to celebrate, and love
song
 often comforts human's emotion in a relationship.
Therefore
, Even though the
language
 of
music
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from different countries, it could be understood by
auidiences
Correct your spelling
audiences
 through
tone
Correct article usage
the tone
show examples
 of
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
.
To sum up
, I believe that not only English but
also
music
 has always been
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 universal
language
 since
thouthands
Correct your spelling
thousands
 of years ago.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: