The diagram below shows the water supply in Australia at present and in the future

The diagram below shows the water supply in Australia at present and in the future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram below illustrates the supply of
water
Use synonyms
in Australia now and in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the first step in both pictures of the supplement is the "Dam/Storage",from where pure
water
Use synonyms
flows to human establishments.In
this
Linking Words
place way of its use differs.
While
Linking Words
wastewater goes to the "
Water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
" and stormwater goes straightly to the
river
Use synonyms
in our days, all
water
Use synonyms
by prediction will be transferred to the
Water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,from the first point which is called Storage in both maps
water
Use synonyms
flows to different types of people's needs.Now,Australia's stormwater flows to the
river
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, in the future it will be supplied to the
Water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
and wastewater will go there too,without flowing to the
river
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
in the days after the "
Water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
plant
Add a comma
,plant
show examples
" it moves to the
river
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the second map which is a prediction gives an example of the great use of
water
Use synonyms
.All types of
water
Use synonyms
will be used for plants neither and it is wasted now by draining it into the
river
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by andriykolomiyets12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, treatment, plant, river with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: