IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples

#childcare #courses #parents
It is true that parents need adequate knowledge to raise their kids in an appropriate way. I totally agree with the statement that childcare training programs should be made compulsory in
following
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the following
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 essay we shall discuss it in detail. On the one hand,
such
 training courses should be provided by the government and other local bodies. It could be useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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guardian whose infants need
a
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apply
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special care.
For instance
, if a child has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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with
birth
Add an article
a birth
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defect
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defects
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such
 as cerebral palsy or musculoskeletal disorders,
then
this
types
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type
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 of training would be life-saving as
this
 could be diagnosed early with proper education and experience.
On the other hand
, I believe that making
such
 programs mandatory would help society &
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 mothers who goes through
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 stage in the first few months after childbirth. Parents can obtain different information like vaccination breastfeeding benefits and
nutrition
Correct article usage
the nutrition
show examples
 of a child. And
also
 common health-related problems, different development at stages and issues with their growth etc. can be learned through
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 courses. A recent survey shows that 70% of women who work in corporate or private sectors would not provide time for their offspring. As they are busy with their work. Adequate knowledge through
this
 training can
also
 be beneficial for
such
 parents.
Finally
, I would like to come to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 conclusion that knowledge never goes
waste
Fix the infinitive
to waste
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 the more you learn the more you improve
therefore
, the childcare training program should be made compulsory to learn and to share the experience with society
Submitted by mg.mohiuddin76 on

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