IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #students #time #work #college
The bar charts show data about UK
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and postgraduate persons
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not go
Change preposition
to full
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
work
 next leaving university in 2008. In 2008, UK graduate and postgraduate students indicated four types
Change preposition
of level
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, namely
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
work
,
voluntray
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
,
further
study
 unemployment. The bar charts compare two
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 field. Each
charts
Change to a singular noun
chart
show examples
had shown
further
study
 and
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
 quantity reached a peak.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 voluntary
work
 had
Change the article
the
show examples
same number because plenty of students need for living costs so
this
 causing was illustrated
voluntry
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
 rate will be
gradually
Replace the word
graded
show examples
 down. In 2008,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of graduates
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
 and
further
study
 nearly 17735 and 29665 respectively. Meantime voluntary
work
 pupils were 3500,
also
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 number had been 16235 in 2008.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
postgradautes
Correct your spelling
postgraduates
 had
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference in
further
Add an article
the further
show examples
study
 so
this
 hit a peak and
been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 2725,
nevertheless
 voluntary
work
 hit a low and was 345 but
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
work
 and unemployment
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
attitude
Correct your spelling
altitude
show examples
,
thus
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
2535 and 1625 respectively.
Submitted by vasif.askerlii on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, work, study with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼

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