IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by teenager in major cities throughout the world is increasing . Discuss this issue . Give reasons and suggest some solution.

#years #crimes #teenager #cities #world
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The number of crimes related to
youngsters
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 growing day by day in
metropolitican
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
cities .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss several reasons and solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation. Most
youngsters
Use synonyms
 are addicted to social media platforms which include violence . We can see that video games like pubg and movies contain
high
Add an article
a high
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 amount of violent context like shooting and cold
bloodsheds
Fix the agreement mistake
bloodshed
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, which can really affect the mental health of teens .
moreover
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 , most parents have no
time
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 to watch their
children
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 and give proper guidelines to
youngsters
Use synonyms
 ; they are really busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 work and even facing relationship issues , which even
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroy
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good
Correct article usage
the good
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 atmosphere in homes for
children
Use synonyms
 and thereby , forcing them to use drugs like cigarettes and alcohols and eventually committing crimes like drugs deals .
Furthermore
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, most teenagers are stressed and depressed in life because of unemployment , they have no money
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for their living like , paying rent or purchasing food items.
therefore
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, committing corruption for earning money. There are several
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 we can curb the crime rates
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
youngsters
Use synonyms
 n. Governments can ban
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent films or games that can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teens , and provide job opportunities and consulting sessions for
youngsters
Use synonyms
 so that they can be educated and earn good salaries.
In addition
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 , parents can
also
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 take necessary steps like spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their
children
Use synonyms
 and creating
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 family atmosphere for teens and
guide
Wrong verb form
guiding
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 them in the right way .
Moreover
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 , they can
also
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 ration the
time
Use synonyms
 period of internet usage by creating timetables for physical and mental activities, Thereby they can have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 future.
For example
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, we can see countries like China , where parents create
time
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 schedules for physical activities and entertainment purposes so that ,
the
Change the word
their
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children
Use synonyms
 can have
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 future.
To conclude
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, it is obvious that Juvenile crimes are increasing in urban areas the main reasons
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 because of less parental guidance and internet usage.
However
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, the solution for
this
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 situation is banning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
violent media and good parental guidance.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

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