IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010
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The chart illustrates the proportion of 6 different
age
Use synonyms
 groups of Australian males and females who exercised regularly in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, women engaged in physical activities more than men,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 between
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
 of 15 to 24, males outnumbered females. It is noticeable that more than half of adult women from
age
Use synonyms
 35 to 64 exercised more in that year,
whereas
Linking Words
 the young adults exercised less with a percentage of just over two-fifths.
Besides
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 15 to 24 that men had 52,8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
no
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
 other
age
Use synonyms
 group got more than half. The only
age
Use synonyms
 group that females and males almost equalised in doing exercise was the seniors from 65 years old and over with less than
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% difference.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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