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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the drawbacks?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary epoch,
due to
Linking Words
globalisation
Add a comma
,globalisation
show examples
 it become possible of people to have
a wide types
Correct the article-noun agreement
a wide type
wide types
show examples
 of foods,which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 transported
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
.I deem that the merits of
transport
Wrong verb form
transporting
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 are more
raither
Correct your spelling
rather
 than demerits like
cheeep
Correct your spelling
cheap
cheep
 products,long term
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and increase economy. On the one hand, owning of
severals
Correct your spelling
several
show examples
 advantages of
large
Add an article
a large
the large
show examples
variety
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
.Primarily,with the agenda of
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 market, every
nation
Use synonyms
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
 to sell their
food
Use synonyms
 items in the
world
Use synonyms
 market in order to increase
GDP
Correct article usage
the GDP
show examples
 of their own country.
Also
Linking Words
, they can get more products
ownself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 and buy more items
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheep
Correct your spelling
cheap
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,with help of exports and
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
, countries were able to make peace and greater built
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 relation.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 notion
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many positive impacts on nations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there are some aspects that determine,the drawbacks of transporting of
variety
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
. To
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 extent reason is that country get dependent on one
nation
Use synonyms
 if they are single
crop
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
show examples
 grown in the
worl
Correct your spelling
world
.
For instance
Linking Words
, research revealed that in 18 century, china is
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
nation
Use synonyms
 that grow tea
crop
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, which sell the product in
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
nation
Use synonyms
.later they rise
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 price of
food
Use synonyms
 and other countries
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 buy
that items
Change the determiner
that item
those items
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it leads to dependence on other countries.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is clear from the above discussion that
although
Linking Words
 there are abundant of advantages of
Use synonyms
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 that transport in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all
world
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
but
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some drawbacks that
didnot
Correct your spelling
did not
didn't
 deniable from
world
Use synonyms

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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