IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

ome people believe people can not solve environmental problems. Whereas, others believe in individuals are responsible for solving environmental problems. discuss both views and give your opinion

#ome #people #individuals
Our
environment
 is an important part of our existence
hence
 the need to cater for it.
While
 some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 of thought believe that the humans who reside in
this
environ
Replace the word
environment
show examples
 do not have the duty of bringing solutions to environmental challenges, others think that the residents of a particular location have great responsibilities when it comes to taking care of the physical problems of the location.
Firstly
, the occupants of a physical location play significant roles in identifying the challenges they may be facing in that region,
whereas
, that may be difficult if the responsibility is taken away from them. When residents of an
environment
 engage in their personal day-to-day activities, they interact with it and because of
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they can easily notice any change or fault that may disturb their ecosystem. An illustration of
this
 is found among farmers who identify oil spillage on their farms and take appropriate actions in order to stop the spill which may not be noticed by the oil firm.
Also
, when individuals participate in taking care of their
environment
, there is a positive influence on personal and social development.
This
 is because when they get involved, skills
such
 as cleanliness and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to work in teams are enhanced.
On the other hand
, in our world today, some environmental problems may be too enormous to be solved by individuals and
therefore
 may require the help of governing bodies in curbing environmental issues. With the recent progress in technology, a lot of industrial waste
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 threatening the
environment
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 the climate and water bodies. Despite the efforts of people in the local communities,
this
 can be difficult to solve
as a result
, policies are now instituted by the government to help the
environment
. An example of
this
 can be seen in the regulation of fuels used by cars or the amount of carbon emission generated by industries. In summary, in as much as people are encouraged to help solve environmental problems, they should
also
 receive support from the government so as to achieve
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wholesome care for the
environment
.
Submitted by Gej@22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: