Some people believe that schools are responsible for improving the behavior of young children. Others think it is the parents' responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
argue that schools should take responsibility for improving
students
'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
while
others feel that
parents
should. Which is better in the long run?
Although
schools might have an opportunity to guide how their
students
have to behave,
parents
should improve the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of their
children
. Some
people
believe that school should be the place to teach
students
how to behave
such
as in public places
due to
the fact that
teachers
have many opportunities to communicate with their
students
. By way of an example,
teachers
spend more than 30 with
students
in a week in Japan which means
teachers
interact with them more than
parents
might do.
As a consequence
, many
people
consider
teachers
are responsible for improving the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of young
children
.
However
, every teacher basically takes care of more than forty
students
so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is virtually impossible to pay attention to all of them carefully.
Therefore
, it is obviously dangerous to rely on
teachers
to teach the right
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to
students
.
On the other hand
,
parents
play an important role to improve the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of their
children
. A good example of
this
is my
parents
who were quite dedicated to education and always showed me what right or wrong is.
According to
an article in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper published
last
month, eight out of ten Japanese adults answered having education-oriented
parents
is the most effective factor to learn the right
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. If
people
were brought up by
parents
who do not place priority on education, they would often cause trouble. As
such
,
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
should be determined by their
parents
.
Submitted by ryohei.1015.golf on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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