Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children’s study. On the contrary those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development . What is your opinion

#parents #computer #games #value #children’s #study #effects #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Since

Change preposition

For

show examples

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

10 Years, it has been noticed that attractiveness towards

Use synonyms

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

games

Use synonyms

has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased and

as a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

,result

show examples

it is not contributing anywhere in the study of

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

Generation.

Also

Linking Words

, it puts

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

impact on young people and

damaging

Wrong verb form

damages

show examples

their

phsychic

Correct your spelling

psychic

and physical health. I firmly agree that increasing

usage

Correct article usage

the usage

show examples

such

Linking Words

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

will harm children's thinking ability and

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

their physical activities. First and foremost,

Use synonyms

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

games

Use synonyms

are addictive. Once an individual download it

Change preposition

show examples

their mobile phone or

computer

Use synonyms

and start playing it,

then

Linking Words

it will eat their lot of

time

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, people feel that they haven't or

less

Add a missing verb

have less

show examples

time

Use synonyms

for their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. These

games

Use synonyms

are

puting

Correct your spelling

putting

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

impact on their

subconcious

Correct your spelling

subconscious

mind

then

Linking Words

growing kids dislike their academic course and

unable

Add a missing verb

are unable

show examples

to pay attention in their class. At online play stores, there are some gaming applications available for

mind

Add an article

a mind

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, maths problem solving, vocabulary improvement by filling

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

blanks, science project completion including its tips and tricks and many more.

Thus

Linking Words

, at certain

level

Add a comma

,level

show examples

Use synonyms

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

games

Use synonyms

are helping in their upbringing but

it's

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

ratio is too less.

On the

Linking Words

Contrary

Fix capitalization

contrary

show examples

, it

also

Linking Words

shows that few

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are life

threating

Correct your spelling

threatening

. It has levels to pass and

mandatory

Add a missing verb

is mandatory

show examples

to complete the dares it shows.

For example

Linking Words

, in 2021 one

Use synonyms

vedio

Correct your spelling

video

game

launched

Add a missing verb

was launched

show examples

market

Add an article

the market

show examples

called Blue Whales and

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

has multiple levels related to real life and

player

Add an article

the player

a player

show examples

is addicted

with

Change the preposition

show examples

it. Users

completing

Wrong verb form

complete

show examples

all stages and at

Linking Words

last

Add a comma

,last

show examples

it has

sucide

Correct your spelling

suicide

dare. Because of

this

Linking Words

game around 100

individulals commited sucide

Correct your spelling

individuals committed suicide

. It blocks

thinking

Correct article usage

the thinking

show examples

skills of

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

and they just follow it blindly.

Moreover

Linking Words

this type

Fix the agreement mistake

these types

show examples

games

Use synonyms

are consuming a bunch of

time

Use synonyms

and that results

Change preposition

show examples

less

time

Use synonyms

for other tasks like

play

Change the form of the verb

playing

show examples

outdoor

games

Use synonyms

, gym,

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with family and

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

and going for

outing

Fix the agreement mistake

outings

show examples

or visiting natural places. In Conclusion, I strongly believe that

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

are worst for growing minds as it limits their ability, decision making and new thinking.

Also

Linking Words

, it consumed

their

Change the word

show examples

lot of

time

Use synonyms

and they

cant not

Correct your spelling

cannot

show examples

concentrate

Change preposition

show examples

their study and

curicular

Correct your spelling

particular

activities with less remained

time

Use synonyms

Submitted by mayini711 on Sun Mar 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

355 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Academic performance
Mental and intellectual growth
Addiction
Screen time
Obesity
Poor posture
Repetitive strain injuries
Violent content
Inappropriate content
Mental health
Aggression
Anxiety
Desensitization to violence
Educational games
Problem-solving skills
Cognitive development
Moderation
Strategic thinking
Negative effects
Physical development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Everybody should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed that everyone should become a vegetarian because consuming meat may lead to health problems. This essay argues that eating only fruit and vegetables has problematic consequence. The two most serious are, the overload in agriculture and not eating enough proteins and nutrients which can be taken from only meat.
5
band
Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It has always been a controversial issue whether lack of special species of plant and animals is the most challenges of environment or we should concentrate on other environment problems more. In my point of view, however some particular of creatures and plant are in danger, it is a good idea that individuals focus on tackling other environmental difficulties.
<4
band
People today are suffering more and more stress related problems than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development?
In 2020, I bought a condominium that was still under construction and it was predicted to be completed in 2023. However, owing to the pandemic of Covid-19, the completion date has been delayed. On April 30, 2024, I completed the vacant possession appointment for house key collection. Me and my husband have spent lots of time and funds on the house renovation and furniture. At the end of June, We started to move into our first owned house. I would like to state that for me to pursue this qualification by taking a course in Australia would create various job opportunities and better salaries. I wish that with this benefit, I can contribute more to my family, home country and promising life as me and my husband have planned to have a child in the future.
<4
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In some areas of the world, many citizens are getting curious to know about the past information and facts of their own residing home. It is because, people want to make sure if the house they are staying in doesn’t have any past history of crime or any negative experiences of the family who previously stayed there. To find the information the members of the family can look up to various online platforms or ask for among neighbours.
7
band
Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with colleague?
Many people prefer enjoying their free time with people outside their work, instead of hanging out with their colleagues because they want to separate their personal things from their work life. I argue that it is preferable to split the work environment with the private life because most people do not want to remember their work responsibilities when they are enjoying their off days.

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children’s study. On the contrary those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development . What is your opinion

Everybody should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People today are suffering more and more stress related problems than in the past. What is the cause of this? What are the possible effects of this development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with colleague?