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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of organisations are considering a four-day working week without reducing employees' salaries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
It is becoming increasingly common for organisations to consider a four-day working
week
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 without reducing
employees
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' salaries.
Although
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this
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 development has some disadvantages, I believe that its
advantages
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 are considerably greater because it can improve
employees
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'
work
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-life balance and increase workplace productivity.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are some disadvantages associated with a four-day working
week
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. One major disadvantage is that
employees
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 may have to
work
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 longer
hours
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 on the four working days.
This
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 is mainly because organisations still need to complete the same amount of
work
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 within a shorter working
week
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.
For example
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, an employee may have to
work
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 longer
hours
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 each day to complete all the
tasks
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 that were previously completed over five days.
As a result
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,
employees
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 may become tired and experience greater pressure at
work
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 is a genuine concern that should be considered.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that the
advantages
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 are considerably greater. The primary advantage is that a four-day working
week
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 can improve
employees
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'
work
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-life balance.
This
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 is mainly because workers have an additional day for rest, family activities and personal responsibilities.
For example
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,
employees
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 can use their extra day off to spend time with their families or complete personal
tasks
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 without taking additional leave.
As a result
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, they can have more time for their personal lives and feel more satisfied.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
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, another important advantage is that a shorter working
week
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 can increase workplace productivity.
This
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 is because
employees
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 who have more time to rest may return to
work
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 with greater energy and concentration.
For instance
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, a well-rested employee may be able to focus more effectively on important
tasks
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 during working
hours
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.
Consequently
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, the employee may complete
tasks
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 more efficiently and maintain better performance.
Therefore
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, I believe that the
advantages
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 clearly outweigh the disadvantages.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 the disadvantage of
employees
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 having to
work
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 longer
hours
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 on the four working days is a valid concern, I believe that the
advantages
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 of a four-day working
week
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 are substantially greater.
This
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 is mainly because it can improve
employees
Use synonyms
'
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and increase workplace productivity.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it stronger, explain more fully why better work-life balance and better output are more important than the extra stress of longer days.
task response
Your ideas are on topic, but the examples are quite general. Add one real or more detailed work case, such as a team that has fewer sick days or gets more work done after a three-day break.
task response
You cover both sides, but the bad side has only one point. You could also discuss problems for jobs that must be open every day, such as shops, hospitals, or customer help teams.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one bad point, two good points, and ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used many times, such as “This is mainly because”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Use a wider range, or join ideas more directly, so the writing sounds less repeated.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence of the third body paragraph repeats your main view. Instead, use that space to compare the good and bad sides more directly before the final paragraph.
task response
You answer the main question directly and clearly say that the good sides are greater than the bad sides.
task response
Your main points are easy to understand: more time for life outside work and more energy at work.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main point, and the order of ideas is logical.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well, so the essay feels complete.
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