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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of organisations are considering a four-day working week without reducing employees' salaries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
It is becoming increasingly common for organisations to consider a four-
day
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 working week without reducing
employees
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' salaries.
Although
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this
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 development has some disadvantages, I believe that its
advantages
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 are considerably greater because it improves
work
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-life balance and promotes
employee
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 well-being.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, there are some disadvantages associated with a four-
day
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 working week. One major disadvantage is that
employees
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 may have to
work
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 longer
hours
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 on the remaining
days
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.
This
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 is mainly because companies may still expect
workers
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 to complete the same amount of
work
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 within fewer working
days
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.
For example
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, an
employee
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 who previously worked eight
hours
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 a
day
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 for five
days
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 may need to
work
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 longer
hours
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 during four
days
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.
As a result
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, some
workers
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 could experience fatigue and additional pressure.
Therefore
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,
this
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 is a genuine concern that should be considered.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that the
advantages
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 are considerably greater. The primary advantage is that
employees
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 can achieve a better
work
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-life balance.
This
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 is mainly because an additional
day
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 off gives people more time for family responsibilities and personal activities.
For example
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,
workers
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 can spend more time with their families or complete important household tasks during the extra
day
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.
As a result
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, they may experience greater job satisfaction.
Furthermore
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, another important advantage is that
this
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 system can improve
employee
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 well-being.
This
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 is because
workers
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 have more opportunities to rest, exercise and recover from workplace stress.
For instance
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,
employees
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 can use the additional free
day
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 for physical activities or relaxation.
Consequently
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, healthier
workers
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 may return to
work
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 with greater energy and concentration.
Therefore
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, I believe that the
advantages
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 clearly outweigh the disadvantages.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 longer working
hours
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 are a valid concern, I believe that the
advantages
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 of a four-
day
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 working week are substantially greater.
This
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 is mainly because it improves
work
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-life balance and
employee
Use synonyms
 well-being.

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task response
Give a more full look at the bad side. You say people may work longer days, but explain how this could affect home life, health, or the quality of work.
task response
Make your view even more strong by saying why the good points are greater than the bad point. For example, say that firms can set fair work times or change work plans to stop very long days.
task response
Your examples fit the main ideas, but they are quite general. Add one clear work case, such as a parent using the extra day for child care, or a worker having fewer sick days after more rest.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: bad side, good side, then a final view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used many times, such as “This is mainly because”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Use other simple links too, such as “Also”, “In this way”, “Because of this”, and “However”.
coherence and cohesion
The last line of the second main paragraph repeats your view. You could use that space to add a final reason or a short comparison between the two sides.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view from the start. Both sides are discussed, and your final view is the same as your first view.
task response
The main good points are clear and relevant: more time for family and personal life, and more rest and health.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one clear main idea, and the ideas move in a natural order.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph clearly frame the essay, so the reader can easily follow your main view.
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