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Band 6.5

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society
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It is true that there is a continually rising trend of the aged in many countries.
This
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 phenomenon actually has brought lots of disadvantages to our
society
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 far more than advantages,
although
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 there might be some merits. On the one hand, the influence of an increasing proportion of older people on economic development、technological creativity and social atmosphere is negatively obvious（1）.
Firstly
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, as we all know，with the incoming ability declining and consumption conception changing, the aged have a lower buying willingness,
such
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 as less shopping and entertainment activity,
thus
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 resulting in companies are hard to sell the production and the whole economy of
society
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 goes into a lower development.(2).
For example
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,my grandfather hardly buys clothes and shoes for him.
Secondly
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, the development of technology will conquer difficulties as older people are occupying the main proportion of a country’s population , because they have fewer possibilities to give new ideas, which is critical to innovation.
Thirdly
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, the government has to raise the tax income from the younger public to build the elderly's welfare system ,
such
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 as giving their pension,which means the young workers have to face the problem of declining salary and are placed under huge life pressure,
thus
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 mentally healthy problems will probably emerge among the whole
society
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.
For example
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, Japan, which is a typical aged country, is seeing a growth of high suicide rates.
On the other hand
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, on the road to development, a nation may go the wrong way without the various experiences of the elderly. Some of their failure or success could teach both individuals and social groups in many aspects. In one word, economy、technology
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, as well as individual life,
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as well as
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 individual life are linked with social population sectors closely.
It is clear that
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 our
society
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 has been confronted with huge pressure because of the growing elderly population in many countries.
Submitted by wang-my on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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