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Parents should not pressure their children to choose particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose path they like. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#parents #pressure #children #profession #people #freedom #path
Parents
 should not pressure their
children
 to choose
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 profession. Young
people
 should have the freedom to choose
path
Add an article
the path
show examples
 they like. To what
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 do you agree or disagree? Nowadays every individual has a right to choose what is good or bad for them.
While
 some believe that young
people
 should be encouraged to
dicede
Correct your spelling
decide
 the path they desire freely, others oppose
this
 idea. I
am strongly agree
Change the verb form
strongly agree
show examples
 that everyone can choose the right path for themselves. Why I choose
this
 way, I will explain in my essay. Choosing a career is a critical and crucial decision for a large number of young
people
 themselves. But some
parents
 want to make their dreams come true of having the perfect job through their child.
For instance
,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
country's
Change noun form
countries
show examples
parents
 take a decision on
adolescents
Change noun form
adolescents'
adolescent's
show examples
 future goals which
further
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 the problem of less independence in the youth.
This
 is can prevent young
people
 from being independent and free in society.
In addition
 to
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
parents
 should strive to create an environment that encourages
children
's talents and passions. To put it simply,
parents
 expect their
children
 to live well and
Add a missing verb
be happy
show examples
happy
Change the word
happily
show examples
 and build a bright future for them.
However
, in my opinion, it is unwise to accept
parents
'
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it takes freedom away from
children
. In a
nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
 every citizen can make up their own life
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 their own struggles and successes. Plumping someone's life is not an appropriate decision as it can take someone's privilege too.
To sum up
, I definitely believe that
parents
 should avoid pressuring their
children
 to follow specific career paths. Young
people
 need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom and parental support in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 future career.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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