IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #people #work #move #families #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that the main effect of
immigration
 is arguable.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that several folks may travel and leave their countries to search for job opportunities.
This
 essay will shed light upon both advantages and
disadvantages
 of
such
 trends and will show my opinion. There are masses who argue that the benefits of
immigration
Replace the word
immigrating
show examples
 to a new country to search for
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 considerably outweigh its
disadvantages
. The main reason for believing
this
 is that the masses may gain a new experience when they work abroad.
For example
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals work with people from a different
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
, they will learn a new language
as well as
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 heritage.
Subsequently
, they might have more knowledge compared with someone
did
Correct pronoun usage
who did
show examples
 not travel. Indeed, it becomes apparent that
immigration
 may have several advantages.
On the other hand
, others argued that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad to find
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 may have various
disadvantages
. To illustrate, a prestigious journal article published that 40% of folks who immigrated from their country had depression.
In other words
, immigrants
when they leave their community
Add the comma(s)
, when they leave their community,
show examples
 may feel shocked as they get separated from their relatives and friends, in a consequence, they might be affected
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 mental diseases
such
 as depression.
Thus
,
this
 makes it clear that
immigration
 might have several demerits. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that leaving the
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
 to search for job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 may hold more
disadvantages
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
folks.
This
 is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
various immigrants suffer from mental diseases as they live alone.
Submitted by pt_maha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: