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Band 5

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy
In some
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 of the world, limitations have been done for using alcohol in terms of users’
age
while
 other
countries
 do not
use
laws
 about
this
 subject.
Age
 limitations may be beneficial to young individuals in favour of preventing
harms
Correct article usage
the harms
show examples
 of alcohol and delaying probable drinking habits in the future. Avoiding strict rules about
this
 case may bring in
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 of using of alcohol among young people too. On the one hand, these regulations may give benefits in some regions. Many young individuals start to drink at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
 they would become an addict in certain regions of the world.
Subsequently
, they may involve some crimes. Especially, South American
countries
 have suffered
these
Change preposition
from these
show examples
 kinds of affairs and they have found a solution with some legislation.
In addition
, many Asian states are applying these
laws
 to delay early addiction among the young. In short, these restraining
laws
 are reasonable for many
countries
due to
 these causes.
On the other hand
, some
countries
 give profits as they do not
use
 restrictions in terms of
drinking
Correct article usage
the drinking
show examples
age
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 freedom in
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
alcohols
Fix the agreement mistake
alcohol
show examples
 in terms of
age
 seems to be dangerous, authorities recognized that in
this
 situation,
alcohols
Fix the agreement mistake
alcohol
show examples
 had been out of focus in
sight
Correct article usage
the sight
show examples
 of the young in the long term. These cases had happened in North Europe and Canada and they have decided to continue these kinds of applications.
Therefore
, giving freedom
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these drinks may create more significant impacts in certain
countries
.
To sum up
, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 discussion.
Although
, freeing from some
laws
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 beneficial effects in some
countries
, in my opinion, regulations should be done about drinking
due to
 possible future dangers among the youth.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal drinking age
  • Underage drinking
  • Health repercussions
  • Addiction
  • Drunk-driving
  • Responsible drinking
  • Forbidden fruit
  • Social rituals
  • Public health
  • Safety framework
  • Risks of alcohol
  • Cultural differences
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