IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Advertising encourages customers to buy in quantity not in quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?.

#customers #quantity #quality
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the
advertisement
Change noun form
advertisement's
show examples
 effect on consumption. In my opinion, I consider myself an advocate of
this
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt,
customers
 tend to buy products
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasonably priced.
On
Change preposition
Upon
show examples
 recognizing the truth, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies often provide
customers
 with a great number of special deals on buying more products. KFC can be cited as outstanding for that, they provide
customers
 one extra
Coca Cola
Add a hyphen
Coca-Cola
show examples
 on the purchase of any two hamburgers.
This
 advert can make the consumers have tended to buy these goods impulsively and spend more than actually required.
As a result
,
customers
 are attracted by a great deal buy two get one free which can bring a bunch of profits for the firm.
While
 the redeeming features of encouraging
customers
 to buy larger numbers are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of quality are ignored. Advertisements in social media often involved information about the effect of items on the
customers
.
For example
, Dove is one of the most common shampoo merchandise in the world. In their advertisement, they promise to make hair smoother and shinier than ever before.
Moreover
, they
also
 said that their product was made with natural ingredients and was safe for everyone to use.
Hence
, advertisements can encourage
customers
 in order to buy commodities with
high-quality
Correct your spelling
high quality
show examples
.
To sum up
, focusing on
attract
Change the form of the verb
attracting
show examples
customers
 to buy items in larger
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 than in standard products can bring myriads of positive influence on firms but the quality of goods should
be concentrate
Change the verb form
be concentrated
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 more consumption.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advertising psychology
  • Consumer behavior
  • Marketing techniques
  • Psychological triggers
  • Consumerism
  • Longevity
  • Overall satisfaction
  • Environmental implications
  • Social media influence
  • Influencer marketing
  • Impulsive buying
  • Sustainability
  • Quality versus quantity
  • Purchasing behavior
  • Resist impulsive purchases
What to do next:
Look at other essays: