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Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of convenience food helped people keep up with the speed of modern life. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages overweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #convenience #food #people #life #trend #overweigh
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In
this
 modern world ,
ready to eat
Add a hyphen
ready-to-eat
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food
 is helping to survive smoothly
instead
 of having
busier
Correct article usage
a busier
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 lifestyle, but
this
 approach
bringing
Wrong verb form
brings
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 more negative effects as compared to
positive
Correct pronoun usage
onespositive
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.
First
Correct article usage
The first
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 and foremost disadvantage is
Correct word choice
that
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preserved
food
 is dangerous for
body
Correct article usage
the body
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 because it is kept stored for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 period of
time
 which could
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 on digestive
system
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systems
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such
 as pain,indigestion ,abdominal bloating and vomiting are the common
smyptoms
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symptoms
 of abdominal infection ;
as a result
, chronic infection can
further
effects
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effect
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 the vital organ of
body
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the body
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 .
For example
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
 used to eat
outsided
Correct your spelling
outside
food
 because of having less
time
 for
Correct article usage
the prepation
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prepation
Correct your spelling
preparation
 of
food
 ,but by eating regularly now he is suffering
chronic
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a chronic
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 abdominal infection.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
, another negative side is it promotes less family interaction because in the past people used to cook and enjoy
together
Correct pronoun usage
themselves together
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 with the family,
while
 nowadays, everyone just
try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to enjoy
alone
Correct pronoun usage
themselves alone
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 ;
therefore
,there is more barrier
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be seen in families ,
also
 less affection, love ,care
as well as
 support. on the positive side,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 more
convient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to buy
food
 in
this
 busier schedule because nowadays both men and women are employees, they have to work from early morning to till evening
time
 and children are busier to get success in
this
 competitive era .
For instance
, yesterday
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was preparing for my presentation for my final year,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was busy for
whole
Add an article
the whole
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 day
could
Correct word choice
and could
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 not get
time
 for cooking
food
 .I ordered
food
 through
skip
Change the verb form
skipping
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 the dishes in just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 seconds. In conclusion,
Correct pronoun usage
I nodoubt
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nodoubt
Correct your spelling
no doubt
,
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 very easy to
affroad
Correct your spelling
afford
offroad
food
 in
this
 modern, but
this
 brings more negative effects like health issues and more family issues .The only
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 side is
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 just easily available.
Submitted by navjotguri on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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