IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

#water #consumption #two #countries
The line graph illustrates
water
 consumption across the globe in three different areas
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
, industrial, and domestic
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 from 1900 to 2000
while
 the table depicts how
water
 was used for
land
irrigation
 and
individual
Change the adjective
individually
show examples
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 in Brazil and
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of Congo during 2000.
Overall
, global
water
 consumption experienced an upward trend with agriculture as the biggest area, and Brazil consumed
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
water
 both for
land
irrigation
 and
private
Change the adjective
privately
show examples
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 compared to Congo.
According to
 the data,
it is clear that
 in 1900
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
 sector used 500 km³
whereas
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 and
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 used consumed the same amount of
water
 at 100 km³. By 2000, agriculture had increased significantly reached 3, 000 km³. It was followed by industrial and person used at 1, 000 km³ and 500 km³ respectively.
During
Change preposition
In
show examples
 2000, Brazil, which had 176 million population, consumed
water
 for 26,500 km2 of
land
irrigation
 and 359 km³ for domestic needs.
On the other hand
, Congo, with 5,2 million inhabitants, used
water
 for 100 km2
land
Change preposition
of land
show examples
irrigation
 and 8 m3 for domestic consumption
Submitted by salwafahanim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: