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Band 4

Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #fashion #items #cost #money #part #life
It was true that there were plenty of
fashion
products
 which had very high prices. Some people agreed that
fashion
items
 were costly since they played an important role in daily life.
Designers
 spent a lot of time creating
fashion
products
 since they hope their artwork can not only be used but
also
 be displayed. For
designers
, they hope they could tell the public their opinion by
Add an article
an organized
the organized
show examples
organized
Wrong verb form
organising
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exhibition
Fix the agreement mistake
exhibitions
show examples
 of their
fashion
items
.
Moreover
,
designers
 needed to spend extra time taking courses or self-studying in order to create more unique and creative
products
.
While
 converting their ideas into actual
products
, they might gain more
inspirations
Fix the agreement mistake
inspiration
show examples
 by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to other cities.
To design
Fix the infinitive
Design
show examples
 excellent
fashion
items
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
took
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and cost money as well. In my opinion, I believe these were reasons why
fashion
products
 were expensive.
Although
fashion
items
 were costly, it was acceptable which depends on jobs. Celebrities could increase their exposure by using
fashion
products
, they
also
 could afford the cost of these
products
. The public could understand the issues that
designers
 wanted to convey and cultivate
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of
aesthetic
Fix the agreement mistake
aesthetics
show examples
 by visiting
fashion
 product exhibitions.
Fashion
items
 affected different groups in different ways, it showed that those
fashion
 goods played an important role in daily life.
Designers
 made efforts to create affected
products
, and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 got benefits
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
products
.
Therefore
,
instead
 of paying attention to the high price of
fashion
items
, people should focus more on the value of the
items
 and the idea that the designer wanted to convey.
Submitted by m8121668 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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