IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain people while others think the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views.

#people #museums #places #purpose
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In recent years,
museums
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 have become popular attractions for both local tourists
as well as
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 those from abroad. Some
people
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 argue that
museums
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 should primarily serve as places to attract and entertain
people
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while
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 others think that the main function of
museums
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 is to educate the general public. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views. First of all, we cannot deny that
museums
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 are many
people
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's favourite because visiting them is usually a very enjoyable experience. It is a place for both young ones and the elderly to visit. Some
museums
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 serve as locations for companies to organise exclusive dinners as they provide a unique background to make the experience a very special one.
Furthermore
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 ,
generally
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,generally
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 we all like places that are pleasant and fun for
family
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the family
a family
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 to hang out, creating stronger bonds among the family members.
Nonetheless
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,
museums
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 are built essentially to educate
people
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 about the history and development of a country .
For instance
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, monuments and pictures in
museums
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 show what happened in the past. Some historical tools that are displayed in the
museums
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 illustrate equipment that was used by our ancestors in encountering their daily
life's
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life
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 challenges. All these can teach the younger generations to appreciate the sacrifices and contributions of the previous generations.
Moreover
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, we
also
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 learn not to repeat the mistakes that were made in the past, making us a better and stronger nation today. In summary,
museums
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 are important places which work not only to entertain the general public
,
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apply
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but
also
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 to educate us . For
this
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, the government should give more funds to preserve and maintain
museums
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 so everyone can be benefitted from them.
Submitted by chiniey on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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