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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #performance #believe #ones #improvement #grades
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Educational institutions appreciate and award their
students
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 for various reasons.
While
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 few people argue that schools should only appreciate
students
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 who show exemplary academic achievements, others advocate in a contrasting view that they should reward children who present constant rise in their
grades
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. In my opinion, the latter view has stronger advantages as it could improve the quality of education and increase the number of
students
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 to pass with good
grades
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. On one hand, it is widely common for people to appreciate
students
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 who score higher marks, but for academic institutions, it seems only to provide the benefit of raising the popularity of their
school
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. For an instance, one particular
school
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 in the city of Newyork, propagated the high performed
students
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' name and their marks in the newspapers, just to show off that their
school
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 performed well,
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however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 number of
students
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 who passed the examination was roughly below the city\'s average.
On the other hand
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, I concur with the opinion that schools should maximise their effort to reward their pupils who are showing remarkable improvement in their
grades
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.
Firstly
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, it would create massive confidence among
students
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 that they are getting appreciated, despite all their odds and problems in the adolescent stage.
Thus
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 they could concentrate well on their exams and score well to reach higher
grades
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.
Secondly
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,I believe that the quality of education is directly proportional to the number of
students
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 who pass with good
grades
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, not only to a few
students
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 who achieve good scores. For example, recently in a remote village near my town, one
school
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 showed, an exemplary pass percentage after started giving a small token of appreciation in their term exams for improving their ranks.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that the advantages
such
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 as the
overall
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 quality and well-being of
students
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 outweigh the mere popularity of an educational institution.
Submitted by sksanthoshkumar475 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • excellent academic performance
  • significant improvement
  • motivates
  • aspires
  • intelligence
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • competitive spirit
  • academic success
  • struggle academically
  • perseverance
  • innate ability
  • confidence
  • valued
  • growth mindset
  • inclusive environment
  • holistic education
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