IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

#phones #gadgets #contact #friends
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In
this
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 modern era,it is widely recognized that mobiles play a significant role in the globe.
However
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,electronic
gadgets
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 create
major
Add an article
a major
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 impact on
socity
Correct your spelling
society
,which reduces the contact between
friends
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.I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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this
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 statement and
forthcoming
Change preposition
in forthcoming
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 paragraphs
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will
cleraly
Correct your spelling
clearly
 explain about
useage
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usage
 of cell
phones
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. To commence with,technology has been booming across the world for 20 years.
Moreover
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,
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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phones
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 are mainly
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 for working ,studying and making
conversaton
Correct your spelling
conversations
 with other peers.
Additionally
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,it brings a ton of problems in
community
Correct article usage
the community
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such
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 as the distance between amiable
friends
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 would be declined and they are not fascinated to make
conversation
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 with
face
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 to
face
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.
For instance
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,in the USA majority of citizens are interested to spend
time
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 on
phones
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 and laptops rather than spending
time
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 with family members and
friends
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.Which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous problems
such
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 as depression and anxiety.
Furthermore
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,there have been facing insomnia and
eye sight
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eyesight
show examples
 problems,because of those
people
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 addicted to social media applications and various
gadgets
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.
Eventhough
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Even though
,parents are not spending
time
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 with their
kinds
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kids
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,they are allocating their
time
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 for working with laptops and talking with their co-workers on
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
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.The way of bonding between
friends
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 would be dropped
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
,they like to talk on
phones
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 only
instead
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 of
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
conversation
Use synonyms
 On the other side of the view,
in
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apply
show examples
 these days only a few
amount
Change to a plural noun
amounts
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 of human beings are
intriguing
Wrong verb form
intrigued
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 to talk with
friends
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through
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apply
show examples
face
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 to
face
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.For
an
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apply
show examples
example,in Germany residents are
showing
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 to talk on social media
instead
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 of
physical
Add a missing verb
having physical
show examples
Use synonyms
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
,
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
people
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 are swamped with their daily work and
they
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apply
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don't have that much
of
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apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their peers.What is more,civilians way of attitudes are altering towards
gadgets
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,once upon a
time
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peple
Correct your spelling
people
 were talking with their
friends
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 at homes,parks and shopping malls.Right now, they are liking to talk on different kinds of
gadgets
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such
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 as laptops,computers and
ipads
Correct your spelling
pads
.
To sum up
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,
Smart phone
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Smartphone
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 brings detrimental impact on
people
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,which creates distance between one person to
other individual
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another individual
other individuals
show examples
.
Additionally
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,only
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 section
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
like to make
Use synonyms
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
Submitted by Myat on

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