IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

#phones #gadgets #contact #friends
In
this
 modern era,it is widely recognized that mobiles play a significant role in the globe.
However
,electronic
gadgets
 create
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 impact on
socity
Correct your spelling
society
,which reduces the contact between
friends
.I totally
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 statement and
forthcoming
Change preposition
in forthcoming
show examples
 paragraphs
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
cleraly
Correct your spelling
clearly
 explain about
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of cell
phones
. To commence with,technology has been booming across the world for 20 years.
Moreover
,
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
 are mainly
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 for working ,studying and making
conversaton
Correct your spelling
conversations
 with other peers.
Additionally
,it brings a ton of problems in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
such
 as the distance between amiable
friends
 would be declined and they are not fascinated to make
conversation
 with
face
 to
face
.
For instance
,in the USA majority of citizens are interested to spend
time
 on
phones
 and laptops rather than spending
time
 with family members and
friends
.Which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous problems
such
 as depression and anxiety.
Furthermore
,there have been facing insomnia and
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
 problems,because of those
people
 addicted to social media applications and various
gadgets
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
,parents are not spending
time
 with their
kinds
Correct your spelling
kids
show examples
,they are allocating their
time
 for working with laptops and talking with their co-workers on
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
phones
.The way of bonding between
friends
 would be dropped
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
,they like to talk on
phones
 only
instead
 of
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
conversation
 On the other side of the view,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 these days only a few
amount
Change to a plural noun
amounts
show examples
 of human beings are
intriguing
Wrong verb form
intrigued
show examples
 to talk with
friends
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
face
 to
face
.For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example,in Germany residents are
showing
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 to talk on social media
instead
 of
physical
Add a missing verb
having physical
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
,
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
people
 are swamped with their daily work and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't have that much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
 to spend with their peers.What is more,civilians way of attitudes are altering towards
gadgets
,once upon a
time
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 were talking with their
friends
 at homes,parks and shopping malls.Right now, they are liking to talk on different kinds of
gadgets
such
 as laptops,computers and
ipads
Correct your spelling
pads
.
To sum up
,
Smart phone
Correct your spelling
Smartphone
show examples
 brings detrimental impact on
people
,which creates distance between one person to
other individual
Change the wording
another individual
other individuals
show examples
.
Additionally
,only
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 section
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
like to make
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
face
 to
face
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
Submitted by Myat on

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Your opinion

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