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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Solving environmental problems should be responsibility of one international agency rather then each local government. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 contemporary epoch, a number of people opine that it is
responsibility
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the responsibility
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 of one international
organisation
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 rather than each local authority,which solve
environmental
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an environmental
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. In my opinion,
although
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 there is no doubt that the global
organisation
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 have high access
knowledge
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to knowledge
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 aids but local governments have access
knowledge
Change preposition
to knowledge
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 about their own national requirements.
To begin
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 with, owning to several reasons that it is
prime
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the prime
a prime
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 responsibility of a
globally
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global
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organisation
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.Primarily, they have access
financial
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to financial
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aids
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aid
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Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 many scientists for new innovations. To explain, international
aids
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aid
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 are run by all leaders of countries in order to make better decisions,if any problem
is occurred
Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
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 and all
nations
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nation's
nations'
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 leaders can participate in
this
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 meeting . Along
Change preposition
with
show examples
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this
Add a comma
,this
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 they can invest some funds.
Thus
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, the best scientists from every
nation
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 in different fields,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
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 to discover new
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 in the world
such
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 as nuclear energy, solar panels and so on.
As a result
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, it leads
many
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to many
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 benefits towards
tackle
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tackling
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 any hazards,
due to
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 large resources and ideas, which is only possible at
global
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the global
a global
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 level.
On the other hand
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, there are some aspects
determine
Correct pronoun usage
that determine
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,
local
Correct word choice
whether local
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 authorities
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 able to resist or solve environmental issues. To a greater extent reason is that they have better information about their own country. To illustrate more, every
nation
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 has
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 climate for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 survival. So, local government make new policies
according to
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needs
Correct article usage
the needs
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 of the individuals. Especially,
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in country
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country
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countries
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 like the Netherlands,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make
policy
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policies
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 to protect
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the forest
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forest
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forests
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 and grow more plants in order to reduce pollution. In the contrast, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dubai, they preferred more eco-friendly products
such
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 as solar panels and
electrical
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electric
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 vehicles because
this
Linking Words
nation
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 is fully
depend
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dependent
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 on tourism and travelling.
To conclude
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, it is clear from the above discussion that
although
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 there are abundant merits of
global
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the global
a global
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organisation
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 but local government is more effective towards
Use synonyms
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the nation
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nation
Replace the word
national
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 or local environment.

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