Scientists advise people to lead a healthy lifestyle, but most people continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think it is and what can do with it?
A healthy
lifestyle
are
advised for Change the verb form
is
people
to lead, however
, most of the population continue
with toxic Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
activities
. It seems to me that a great number of people
who have unhealthy activities
in their routine,
lack passionate Remove the comma
apply
goal
. Personally, finding Fix the agreement mistake
goals
purpose
Correct article usage
a purpose
of
life Change preposition
in
such
as go
to church or Wrong verb form
going
try
new Wrong verb form
trying
activities
, can greatly lead one
into
a healthier Change preposition
to
lifestyle
Many people
in this
modern world lack passion and purpose
of
life. When Change preposition
in
one
can’t answer what they are truly want
. They tend to numb themselves with toxic Change the verb form
truly want
medias
and Correct your spelling
media
activities
, in addition
, one
seems to be addicted to dopamine. Consequently
, most of unhealthy
Add an article
the unhealthy
activities
can provide a
short-term relief. Remove the article
apply
For example
, smoking cigarette which contains nicotine could give one
stress relief for a short period of time, nevertheless
, it’s
directly Verb problem
it
harming
the lungs and cardiovascular, Wrong verb form
harms
additionally
, people
who smoke cigarette
are Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
in
risk of forming Change preposition
at
a
cancer Correct article usage
apply
cell
.
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
Consequently
, finding a purpose
of
life could directly improve Change preposition
in
one
’s lifestyle
. Once they have goals, they tend to be happy without consuming any toxic medias
and Correct your spelling
media
activities
. One
of the most important aspects of healthy
Add an article
a healthy
lifestyle
is consistency despite its challenge
. Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
For
instance
making several small goals is Add a comma
instance,
one
way to keep the consistency going, nonetheless
, a reasonable rest should not get
overlooked.
Verb problem
be
To conclude
, one
of the main reasons that a great number of population
continue with unhealthy Add an article
the population
lifestyle
is Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
they’re
lack Correct your spelling
their
passion
and Change preposition
of passion
purpose
. Once one
can identify their need and passion, they are most likely to stick with a healthy lifestyle
. Nevertheless
, one
has to be mindful of a reasonable rest in order to keep the
consistency.Correct article usage
apply
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the questions posed in the prompt. Stay on topic and make sure to answer why people continue with unhealthy activities and what can be done about it specifically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and should logically connect to each other.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by providing specific, relevant examples. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a higher degree of task achievement.
General
Check for grammatical mistakes and ensure that sentences are well-constructed. Good control of grammar and sentence construction is crucial.
General
Vary your sentence structures and use a range of vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to the cohesiveness of your essay by using linking words and phrases appropriately to connect ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that the introduction effectively sets up the topic and that the conclusion summarizes the main points well without introducing new ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?