The line graph shows the cost for watching films. The pie charts show the change in percentage of market share represented by three forms.

The line graph shows the cost for watching films. The pie charts show the change in percentage of market share represented by three forms.
The given line graph provides information about the price for watching films in 3 primary forms namely
cinema
,
DVD
, and legal download
as well as
the proportion part of the market by the 3 formats from 2005 to 2011 in the pie charts.
Overall
, the most expensive type of watching film was
cinema
Correct article usage
a cinema
show examples
ticket. Particularly, more people
prefered
Correct your spelling
prefer
renting a
DVD
rather than going to the
cinema
and watching online legally in both years.
According to
the line graph,
cinema
tickets charged the largest number of fees at approximately 9
pounds
in 2005.
This
cost continued to increase gradually over the following years until exactly 14
pounds
in 2011. The second most expensive kind of watching format had been a legal download constituting 8
pounds
exceeding
DVD
by 2
pounds
before a steady decline to 6
pounds
by 2007,
while
there was a slight rise of the latter to nearly 7
pounds
in the middle years.
Subsequently
, legal downloads raised the price again to around 9
pounds
in the end,
whereas
DVDs finished at just 8
pounds
in 2011. Looking at the market share pie charts, the majority of watchers renting a
DVD
contributed two-thirds of the total,
then
the figure had decreased moderately to more than half by 2011. Referring to people
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
chose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
cinema
and online watching, the number comprised 30% and 6%, respectively in the first year, but in 2011, these figures changed noticeably making up 18% of
cinema
-goers and 26% of online watchers.
Submitted by Ymir on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, dvd, pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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