Women have the capability and the skills to take on leadership roles, yet they are not offered these positions. What is the root cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In
this
era of globalisation,
women
have enough capabilities to be a leader, yet they are not offered in
this
postition
Correct your spelling
position
. From my personal point of view,
women
are
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
emotional when dealing with problems and
thus
they are not suitable to lead certain
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
This
essay will
further
elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
reasons and solutions
upon
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
matter. In regard to the problem, the major reason is
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
are very sensitive and emotional
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
. They are very weak when dealing with arguments and cannot make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wise
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
when they are angry.
For instance
, in Malaysia, only men are eligible to be Prime Minister
while
women
can only be Deputy Prime
Minister
Fix the agreement mistake
Ministers
show examples
. A possible solution to
this
problem is social awareness. I reckon that education should be the first instrument for changing society's treatment of
women
in high posts in firms or even governments. Once started at schools, that educational pattern should lead the public to the same rights for girls at university and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
proven job achievements without any superstitions. Another means of gender equity is corporate culture and tolerance. The recent CEO of Microsoft could be a great example of a successful career that breaks the traditional patriarchal pattern. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper education and corporate culture should involve girls in career competitiveness for the best result. And I feel that competing with
women
on the professional stage is a great honour.
Furthermore
, it is a sign of a cutting-edge society, that brings no difference between genders and races.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: