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Band 4

Many museum charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?

#museum #charge #admission #fees #people #visit
Nowadays, a lot of
people
 would love to learn history.
However
, many
museums
 need
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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enter
Replace the word
entry
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 and other
museums
 do not need
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
enter
Replace the word
entry
show examples
.
However
, what are the benefits of
this
 situation, and what are the
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In
this
 essay, I will look at both sides and make an effort to draw some
conclusion
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusions
show examples
. Let's begin by looking at
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 benefits of
museums
 free for society.
This
 is
many
Correct word choice
because many
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people
's historical knowledge will dramatically increase.
Hence
, if
museums
free
Add a missing verb
are free
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 for any individuals, poor
people
 can visit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 too. So,
this
 countryʼs illiterate will slightly decrease. The second advantage of
this
 situation
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
This
 is
people
 are
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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the museum any time.
Hence
 if
museums
 do not need money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enter,
people
 should not collect money apply
museums
.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 coin has another side. Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the main
negative
Change to a plural noun
negatives
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 is if
people
 do not pay
for
Change preposition
to
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enter
Change the verb form
entering
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 the museum,
people
 will not respect
of
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apply
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museums
. After in all
museums
full
Add a missing verb
are full
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with
Change preposition
of
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people
.
This
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main factor of conflict between individuals.
In addition
, if all
museums
free
Add a missing verb
are free
show examples
 for capita person,
people
 will not respect
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
museumsʼs
Change noun form
museumsʼs'
museumsʼ's
show examples
 owners.
Hence
, owners pay too much money for each exhibit. Unless
museums
free
Add a missing verb
are free
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per person, they will
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
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not take an income.
To sum up
,
museums
 are our face for other countries. In my view, I prefer the
museums
 need to pay
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enter
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because owners must take an income
Submitted by abrorjon_1995 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • socioeconomic barriers
  • accessibility
  • visitor experience
  • inclusivity
  • overcrowding
  • indirect revenue
  • maintenance
  • cultural education
  • funding issues
  • community engagement
  • commitment
  • quality assurance
  • regulate visitor flow
  • museum upkeep
  • exhibit curation
What to do next:
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