IELTS 12 - Test 6 - Task 2: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#ielts #test #time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Recently, the proportion of young adults

Verb problem

has

show examples

increasing

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

drastically compared to elderly

people

. I believe that the merits of

this

situation supersede the drawbacks of the situation. In

this

essay, I will discuss some advantages of having higher youth in a

nation

such

as the economic growth of a

country

, and some disadvantages including increasing

crime

rate. There are some negative aspects of a larger sum of the young

generation

Firstly

, one of the demerits of more youngsters is that

crime

rates often surge in that

nation

. As young population usually

engage

Correct subject-verb agreement

engages

show examples

in various types of offences including burglary, and reckless behaviour, compared to old inhabitants.

Secondly

, a larger figure of young can create a higher proportion of unemployment in a

country

. As elderly

people

are set in their ways, youngsters often suffer from unemployment because the number of jobs in a

country

is limited.

For example

, in India, most of the new graduates could not find jobs as the number of jobs is very low compared to the number of graduates, which is why a lot of young

people

remain jobless.

Therefore

, the young

generation

tends to

increase

the percentage of

crime

rate as they often remain unemployed.

However

, these demerits are not major because young

people

can overcome these by self-employment. Despite these above-mentioned drawbacks, there are some positive aspects.

To begin

with, most of the elder

people

are already retired,

although

the young

generation

is a strong workforce for a

nation

as they will not be retiring soon. To elaborate, youngsters can have a significant impact on economic growth.

Furthermore

, often young

generation

tends

Rephrase

often tends

show examples

to become more innovative and creative. Since they can put more effort than old adults, their innovative ideas can help to

increase

the growth of a

country

's economy.

For instance

, China's economy has been growing for many years just

for

Change preposition

because of

show examples

the youth population's new innovative technology.

Thus

, a

country

's young adults are vital for its economy, which is a major benefit.

To conclude

, there are some positive sides including strengthening the workforce, innovation and creativity that

increase

financial stability,

whereas

there are some demerits as well

such

as the

increase

crime

and unemployment. I believe that there are a plethora of benefits

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

negative aspects of the higher portion of youth in a

nation

Submitted by yalidamanapp on Wed Mar 15 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay provides a clear opinion but the support for the opinion is not fully developed. Ensure that the advantages and disadvantages are discussed in more detail to provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is evident, but the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened. Additionally, the supporting points need to be linked more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

382 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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IELTS 12 - Test 6 - Task 2: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienc

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Differing amount of nitrogen oxide by four types of vehicles.

In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Museums and art gallaries should concentrate on works that show histroy and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?